Page 100 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin

But that had all been an illusion. Abishek had known where she’d been the entire time. Row had never been protecting her from anything despite what he’d believed. And her mother had been locked up here since she’d been born, unable to warn them while Abishek had left her to waste away. If Zarya got out of this alive, she would make this man suffer.

She allowed her mind to drift inwards as she attempted to block out the pain of Kishore’s needle, wishing she were anywhere else.

With Rabin on a quiet beach, the water crashing on the shore. With Yasen in a seedy tavern, daring each other to take another shot while he drank her under the table. With Row sitting comfortably by the fire as he read one of his boring books while she read one of her smutty novels.

Gods, what she wouldn’t give to go back.

She’d spent so long craving more but look where that had gotten her.

As pain wracked through her body, she clung to the ephemeral possibility of this other existence. She couldn’t wait to get her hands on it.

The room was quiet while Kishore worked, the wind muffled by the dark curtains, with only the crackle of the fires filling the silence. Ekaja hovered on the edges, her hand on her sword, where Zarya could just make her out with the corner of her eye.

After what felt like hours, Kishore stood back, admiring his handiwork. Abishek appeared above her, a satisfied smile curling on his lips.

“It is complete?” he asked.

“Enough to serve your purpose,” Kishore answered. “Thankfully, his is already prepared.”

Abishek had encouraged Rabin to get the dragon inked onto his skin. He really had been planning this all along.

“Now what?” Abishek asked.

“Now we complete the Bandhan.”

He placed the needle and bowl on the table, and the binding air around Zarya released. She breathed out a sigh of relief. Looking down, she gasped at the sight of the silver dragon now tattooed over her heart. She had a thousand questions she knew would go unanswered.

Finally, she willed herself to meet Rabin’s gaze. He was already looking at her, fire and rage burning in the depths of his dark eyes. She had so many things to say, but they all went unspoken, searing the tip of her tongue.

“Zarya,” he whispered, and she shook her head.

“I love you,” she whispered back.

A moment later, her view was blocked again as Kishore moved between them. He then circled a cold hand around her wrist and squeezed.

She watched as bands of silvery light filtered out around them. After a few seconds, the silver began to twine with red and black, like blood and darkness, all three meeting to create something that felt distantly ominous.

Then came the pain. It burned in her chest, searing her from the inside out like she’d been dipped in liquid iron. She screamed as she attempted to bow off the table, but she was trapped. She was desperate to move her legs and arms. Desperate to clutch at herself. This was nothing like it had been last time when she’d clung to Rabin. When she’d felt herself grow stronger in that moment. More complete. This felt like a piece of her was being stolen, stripped away, and ground to dust.

“Rab—” she tried to gasp. She reached for him, her fingers stretching uselessly against her restraints.

“Zarya!” he called, and a sob cracked out of her chest. How could any of this be happening?

Another twist of pain had her screaming, tears spilling from her eyes, sweat breaking out on her forehead, and her breath seizing in her lungs. Her chest burned. Her skin burned. Her bones ached.

Finally, after several long, agonizing minutes, the pain eased. She lay panting on the table, her limbs shaking as sweat cooled on her body. She listened to the crackle of the fire and the shuffle of Kishore walking away.

A moment later, Abishek appeared over her again. He gave her a soft look, and something exchanged between them that she couldn’t interpret.

“This could have been different,” he said. “We could have been something great.”

She sensed a strange sorrow in his words and felt strangely sad.

Like she’d given up something she’d never even wanted.

“Now what?” she gasped. “Is it over?”

He tipped his head, his mouth pressing at the corners.