Page 52 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin

“I mean, I don’t know. I would have said no if you’d asked me that a year ago. But so much has happened since, and I don’t really know anymore. What if I am? What if something inside me is causing all of this?”

She swept her hands over herself, and Abishek considered her with his unflinching gaze. He folded his hands and gave her a serious look.

“I understand why it might feel that way, but these are coincidences. No one person could be responsible for something so devastating. It isn’t possible. No matter how strong an Aazheri you may be, not even you could have caused the blight.”

She hadn’t realized she needed to hear those words so badly. Her shoulders dropped in relief.

“Dhawan was trying to get into your head,” he continued. “He was always a master of manipulation—it is the reason I banished him. He was using his ‘skills’ to turn the nobles’ favor against me so he could seize power for himself. It backfired, and when he realized he was no match for me, he tried to worm his way back into my confidence. He was simply trying to coerce you into following him.”

“It nearly worked,” she admitted. “I almost…”

She stopped and shook her head. She remembered the violent feeling of wanting to embrace her darkness. She’d learned it wasn’t the evil entity she’d first thought, but at that moment, she’d believed in what it could offer her. And she’d wanted that power for herself.

“Zarya, all will be well,” Abishek said. “Kishore may be able to answer some of these questions. Mystics know things about magic that collective memory has forgotten. They know things I only wish I could understand.”

“Thank you,” Zarya said. “I appreciate this.”

Abishek gave her a smile. “Now I’m off to bed, and you should probably do the same.”

She nodded and watched as he left before her gaze wandered to the window and the snow-covered forest. Despite all the king’s assurances, there was something she had to see for herself.

A short while later, Zarya found herself traipsing through the snow, her jacket buttoned and her collar pulled up around her cheeks. Her boots crunched on the hardpack, echoing in the stillness of the forest while the moon hung low and bright in a clear velvet sky.

The end of her nose burned with a nip of frost, and she stamped her feet to generate warmth. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was looking for, but she wanted to test something out.

She stared up, taking in the constellation of stars and the tall evergreens surrounding her on all sides. She couldn’t hear anything save the rush of wind through the branches. The city slept, and the distance drowned out any ambient noise.

Inhaling a deep, cleansing breath, she approached a tree. Everything about her magic seemed to connect to forests and what grew from the earth—including the blight in Daragaab and the trees in Gi’ana. Even Rabin was connected to these trees.

She pulled off her glove and then reached out, wrapping her hand around a prickly branch. The soft needles poked at her skin while she filtered out a thread of her sixth anchor.

The dark ribbon of black magic swirled around her, forming clouds of billowing shadows. A moment later, flashes snapped across her vision—the same as always—a wasteland of nothing. Screams and fires. Demon armies marching over scorched earth, their dulled weapons glinting under a weak sun.

The man’s voice, speaking in that language she didn’t understand, but it felt almost like it was within reach today. Something shifted, and she saw him peering at a mirror, studying his reflection. But no, that wasn’t it.

The reflection moved independently, walking in the opposite direction. Not a reflection. It was two different men. Twins. They spoke rapidly, their hands flying and their eyes alight with manic light.

And that’s when she recognized their location. The silver Temple of Starlight stood behind them, stretching to the sky. The twins turned to face a crowd reaching up to them, their cries beseeching as they reached for the Ashvins.

Taaranas.

The lost ancient city.

Her gaze swept up the stepped temple and to the massive star hanging above it, slowly spinning on an axis. Her breath caught. This is what she’d been witnessing all along. She’d been right when she’d asked Abishek about the Hanera Wars.

She was seeing the start. The days before the world fell into ruin.

Zarya gasped and pulled her hand away, stumbling back and falling into the snow. She looked around her, feeling tears press the back of her throat.

The trees surrounding her were dead now.

Everything charred black and rotten, forming a wide, accusing circle.

She had done this.

She had been responsible for everything.

No matter what Abishek claimed, she knew he was wrong.