Page 59 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin

She’d had more dreams about her mother and the Ashvins every night, and her exhaustion was dragging her down. She reached for her mother’s necklace, her eyes closing in frustration when her fingers met with her bare throat. She’d do anything to get it back.

Yasen had written to tell her that he was assisting with training the Army of Ashes and that Miraan had contacted his sister hoping to appeal to her better nature. Zarya wasn’t sure if Dishani had one or how smart this was, but she trusted they were all considering the possible pitfalls and consequences of their actions.

With Row and the others around, they would have plenty of solid advice and guidance at their disposal. She whispered a prayer for her friends and hoped she’d see them again soon.

Standing before the mirror, wearing only her underwear, she studied her reflection, searching for evidence of the evil living in her soul. She closed her eyes and tried to reach for Rabin inside the mind plane, but the way remained frustratingly blocked. She screamed for him inside her head but was rewarded with nothing—just silence and emptiness, along with the echo of her thoughts.

She twisted her torso, studying the tattoo on the back of her shoulder and searching for evidence of the taint. If Kishore still hadn’t arrived tomorrow, maybe it was time to return to Ishaan and talk to Thriti instead. Maybe she would know how to fix this.

A knock came at her door, and Urvi entered, her eyes down as she crossed the room. Ever since Zarya had offered to remove her tattoo, she’d avoided eye contact, speaking to her only when necessary.

“Urvi,” Zarya said as she pulled her robe on and tied it around her waist. “I want to apologize for the other day. I should never have put you in that position. I’m very sorry.”

Urvi stopped what she was doing at Zarya’s dressing table, her spine straightening before she peered over her shoulder.

“It’s okay,” she said softly before nodding and resuming her work. A moment later, she gestured for Zarya to sit so she could start her hair and makeup.

Zarya slipped onto the bench while they both maintained an awkward silence. Urvi started with her makeup, then brushed her hair while Zarya watched her in the mirror. Urvi was still carefully avoiding meeting her gaze, and Zarya dropped her eyes, trying not to make her uncomfortable.

A moment later, a soft, whispered voice said, “It’s not that I don’t want to be free.”

Zarya looked up, but Urvi was again focused on Zarya’s hair as though she hadn’t said a word.

Zarya nodded. “I understand,” she whispered. “If and when you’re ready and want to talk about it, please let me know. I won’t ask again unless you bring it up.”

Urvi continued brushing her hair with long, careful strokes. If Zarya didn’t know any better, she might believe Urvi hadn’t heard her, but the slightest flicker in her eyes acknowledged Zarya’s promise.

Urvi spent a few minutes curling her hair and pinning half of it up in a few intricate twists. Then she met Zarya’s gaze in the mirror and smiled brightly. “Now, let’s get this dress on, shall we?”

Abishek had sent her another gift: a stunning lehenga made from the deepest crimson silk, embroidered with intricate red beading and layered with an overskirt of delicate lace.

She helped Zarya into it and tied the ribbons that ran up the back of the choli. When she was done, Zarya couldn’t help but admire herself in the mirror. It was a beautiful gift, and she appreciated the king’s effort. He was trying very hard to make her his princess.

But Abishek expected her to marry an Aazheri. Row had been right when he’d warned her. She’d thought he was being overly cautious, but it was clear Abishek took this issue seriously.

He loved Rabin like a son, and surely he wouldn’t feel that way once he knew about their marriage. Regardless, if Abishek truly wanted to take on a father-figure role in her life, he’d have to accept her husband. If he genuinely wanted Zarya as his heir, then Rabin would become the king consort of Andhera.

She kind of liked the thought of that.

He’d look very handsome and powerful sitting on a throne.

They had to tell him. Tonight, she’d convince Rabin they couldn’t keep this secret any longer.

A knock at the door drew her out of her reverie.

“Come in,” she called as she adjusted a wayward curl.

Rabin opened the door, and she caught his approving look.

“Hi,” she said as Urvi excused herself from the room. Rabin closed the door and immediately strode over, wrapping his big hands around her waist as he came to stand behind her.

“You look…” He shook his head. “You look like a fucking goddess.”

She smiled at his reflection. “How are you feeling?” she asked as his arms banded around her, drawing her against him.

“I’m fine,” he said, repeating his usual mantra.

“I was thinking if Kishore still doesn’t return tomorrow, we should head for Ishaan and see if Thriti can help us instead. I’m worried about you.”