Page 92 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin

“Rude,” Yasen said.

He studied the garden, the pergola Zarya had described, and the stretch of beach where she’d fallen asleep that last night before escaping to freedom. He felt weirdly proud of her at that moment. After living in this sheltered spot her entire life, setting out alone must have been terrifying.

Yasen turned to follow Row, passing a line of healthy trees and crossing into the ruined forest where the swamp had once existed. Immediately, Yasen could sense how different it felt from before. With his rakshasa connection to the earth, he’d always recognized the sinister energy that had permeated the dying plants and flowers.

But now he felt nothing. The magic was gone, and the only thing left was the dead forest that had yet to regrow. Perhaps Rabin would return someday to work his power over this land, but for now, it lay dormant.

Row stood at the swamp’s edge, peering into the water as Yasen stopped beside him.

“There’s nothing here,” Yasen said as Row nodded.

“You’re right. The blight hasn’t returned. This is just dead.”

“So, what does this mean?”

“I’m truly not sure.”

Yasen exhaled a long breath as he scanned their surroundings. Row then returned to the cottage, and Yasen followed again. They entered the small house, and Row immediately went for a cupboard, producing a bottle of dark liquor and a couple of glasses.

“Want one?” he asked as he poured himself a healthy measure.

“Sure,” Yasen answered. He accepted the glass before sitting at the table to sip quietly while Row stared out the window. Yasen sensed that he needed a moment.

“You okay?” he said after a minute, his question hesitant.

Row sighed and braced his hands on the counter before he dropped his head.

“Being here stirs up a lot of things,” he said and once again fell silent.

“You want to talk about it?”

Row looked up and turned around. He picked up his glass and took a long drink.

“I feel so much guilt for how I raised her,” he said. “I shouldn’t have locked her away. I should have hunted Abishek down and shoved a sword through his heart to protect her. I thought about doing it so many times, but I was too afraid.”

Yasen arched a brow at the coldness in Row’s voice.

“Then he probably would have killed you, and Zarya would have had no one. According to Rabin, none of this was really his fault, anyway.”

Row stared straight ahead and took another sip.

“Then whose fault is it?” he asked. “Someone was lying. Or mistaken. Someone told me to take that little girl and hide her away so she would be safe. But what was I really protecting her from? Was I wrong about everything?” He inhaled a sharp breath. “Did Asha lie to me? Or was she deceived, too? Have I spent the last two decades pining for a woman who used me for some reason I might never understand?”

Yasen watched Row as he blinked heavily, his chest expanding with deep breaths. He had no idea how to answer those questions. Row had loved Asha. Still loved, if this reaction was anything to go by, and Yasen couldn’t begin to understand the depth of Row’s sorrow.

“She doesn’t blame you,” Yasen said. “Zarya, I mean. She understands why you had to do it.”

Row shook his head and downed the rest of his drink. “I don’t deserve her forgiveness. And that still doesn’t make it right.”

“Maybe,” Yasen said. “But we do our best with the hand we’re dealt. You wanted to protect her, and you did. She grew up to be a strong, capable woman, and you were part of that. She loves you, Row. I know she does.”

Row exhaled a wry laugh, finally meeting Yasen’s gaze. “Thank you for that. I had no idea you could be so insightful, Varghese. I actually feel a bit better.”

Yasen winked and took a sip of his drink. “Any time. Just don’t tell anyone about this, okay? I have a reputation to maintain.”

That earned him a warm smile. “Your secret is safe with me.”

A short while later, they returned to Dharati, where protestors continued chanting at the palace gates. Yasen wanted to tell everyone that the resistance was doing everything it could to help the vanshaj, but he knew they still had a long way to go.