Page 18 of The Heart Trials

“What happened to Lucent?” His stare pins me in place. He’s dropped the act he had when I stumbled upon him. He steps forward, I step back, feeling for purchase on the tiny blade. I rip the knife from my hair, fisting it, pointing it straight at him.

“Let me out of here.”

He doesn’t move, eyeing my weapon.

“Where is my cousin?”

I am not dying for a crime I didn’t commit. I jab the sharp metal in his direction, and he dodges, jumping backward. I dart away from him, circling a giant wooden table in the kitchen. He watches me with growing irritation. When he comes toward me, I dash toward the servants’ exit. But as I’m inches from shoving it open, escaping this prison, Caelus’s grip tightens around my wrist.

His touch is a weight of iron through my gloves.

“Let me go!”

He twists my arm backward, firm but gentle, ripping the blade from my hand and throwing it on the ground.

“Axira Merreri,” he whispers in my ear, and my blood goes cold. “Orphanage Nine in Dockers Row. Above Ferdin’s fish counter.”

He’s known who I am this entire time. I try to pull myself free.

“My cousin. Where is he?”

I can’t move. The angle of my arm folded behind me makes it impossible. “He overdosed on fillers. He’s—” I can’t say it. I squeeze my eyes shut. He tried to help me get away.

But Caelus releases me, blinking with a parted mouth somewhere between sadness and shock. He swallows, smoothing his hand on his pants. Then he picks up my blade and hands it to me.

“You believe me.”

He stares at nothing, speechless, his shoulders sagging. “I know my cousin.” A storm brews in his tortured gaze. There are tears there. Real tears that he doesn’t hide. Serafina would be hanged for these kinds of tears. My father was. I swallow and look away, unsure what to do. It feels nice to be believed. I glare at the door. Once I’m outside, would I run to the Citadel walls and try to climb them? Is there a way to the sewers that way? Caelus is still rocked with emotion, steadying himself on a wall, and I’m suddenly haunted by the memory of my parents.

“How does it feel?” I ask.

“What?”

“How does it feel to hurt for him?” And not hide it.

His gaze dips to my chest, where a Heartfiller would disappear. I’m not allowed to show the feelings he’s having. I’m expected to live as if I can’t feel them. The Heartfillers made it easy. Now…after weeks without one…I’m not sure anything’s easy anymore.

He shakes his head, scraping for words, like he doesn’t know how to answer that.

“They arrested me for murdering Lucent,” I admit.

Caelus shakes off the grief in an instant, like he’s shut it in a vault. “They’ll want you at the bottom of the sea for this.” He pulls himself off the wall.

“I was told I’d get to ask your father for mercy.”

“A formality. He never honors those requests.” Footsteps echo down the hall. “Do you have more Heartfillers?” He glances in the direction of the noise, speaking hurriedly.

“That was my entire supply,” I say.

The footsteps get louder.

“Can you get more?”

“I’d need time.”

Someone joins us in the hall.

Caelus grabs me around the waist and pulls us into a nearby closet, barricading the door shut with his body. The room is so dark I can’t see my hand in front of my face. But I can feel his hold on me. My skin crawls, but the commotion outside the broom closet makes me too nervous to move.