Page 80 of The Heart Trials

I’ve picked Kade. It has to be Kade.

But I haven’t even talked to him.

Lira is out of the way. She’s strolling through the gardens with Orrick, refusing to engage Kade. She’s actually laughing with real creases around her eyes, playing with Orrick’s hair. I don’t know if she feels bad for him or finds him interesting. I hope it’s the latter. I don’t think Orrick expected to make it past today.

“What’s your plan, Axira?” Caelus joins my side.

My mind claws for an answer. I don’t have words. I don’t know.

“You and I can try to—” Caelus says, words tumbling out with none of the polish of his noble position.

“We aren’t supposed to even hint that we could be seriously involved,” I say. “That would blow our cover.”

I walk away from him, making a show of giving him the cold shoulder, to make it clear I’m not into him. I want Kade. As we wait for elimination to start, the contestants mingle. Skyborn watch from the perimeter of the park, shouting insults about how we don’t deserve the grass we are standing on. I find Kade, who’s standing alone. He’s clearly perturbed Lira is now giggling loudly with Orrick.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” I tell him, my heart pounding.

But he turns his back to me.

“Kade, I know what you were trying to do at the tea shop. You want to protect the freedoms the Benevolent gives.”

Kade turns with a brow quirked.

“But someone is scheming.” I leave out that Rhythe is behind this. “Doesn’t protecting freedom mean finding that person? Dorian doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.”

“The most effective treason happens right under the nose. You can’t put it past anyone.” He says it with a smugness. The same smugness he showed when Orrick attacked Finn incensed with rage.

“I hadn’t considered that. You’re right,” I lie.

He shrugs as if he suddenly doesn’t care. As if his arguing back there was performance and not passion. “Dorian’s not in my way,” he says.

As frontrunners—the ones most obviously in true love—aren’t they in everyone’s way? I wait for him to say more. But he doesn’t. It’s puzzling. But I move on. I need him to believe I want him to match with me.

“I think you’re smart,” I say. Sucking up to him is the worst. But he eats it up, unable to hide his smirk at the flattery.

“I’ve always thought the same about you,” he says.

“But we really haven’t had time to get to know each other.”

“You don’t like blond hair,” he mocks me playfully. It’s working.

“Yeah, well, I’m realizing what I thought I wanted and what I really want aren’t the same.” The truth stings. But it sails right past him. I catch Caelus from the corner of my eye. A group of contestants huddles nearby, casting glances at him. He pulls one of the girls aside and picks her a rose from a bush.

“Gather around,” someone shouts.

I promptly look away from Caelus and the girl to Dreth, lining us up. My heart thunders. We stand in a circle shoulder to shoulder as the other guards join his flank with restraints in hand.

“When your name is called, perform your act of meaningful affection. It must mean something to at least one of you. If it is clear that it does, you will advance to the second trial.”

I can’t stop grabbing bunches of my clothes. The girl Caelus gave a rose to still holds it, and I realize it’s the girl with the brown hair and mousy voice—Callie—who was supposed to choose to eliminate Orrick or Finn. She sways side to side as if she might shatter.

“Dorian and Mae have been cleared to proceed to Trial Two.” Dreth gestures at Mae to stand on his right. Then he nods to the rest of the group. “Orrick, start us off.”

Orrick steps forward, and Kade tenses next to me.

“Lira, could I have a—” Orrick breaks off. His chin hits his chest and tears fall from his face, still heavy with regret. “I can’t. It’s not right after what I’ve done.” He’s grieving what he did to Finn.

“Yes, you can, Orrick,” Lira says, and Rhythe flinches.