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Which isn’t all that much, considering she blocks me every time I try to delve deeper into her past, into who she is. I mean, I know the basics from the background check, but I want to know more than that.
I want her to let me past her defense so I can see her, really see her, for the first time. It’s terrifying to be this crazy about a woman and know she doesn’t trust you enough to let you see the real her. Terrifying to realize that no matter how much you care about her, no matter how much you reassure her, the mask she shows the world may be all you ever get to see of her.
Then again, I haven’t dropped my guard either, haven’t let her see just how messed up I really am. Three nights this week she’s woken me from nightmares, her arms wrapped around me and her lips pressed against my throat. I’ve taken the comfort she’s offered, then made love to her while the cold sweat of fear was still rolling down my spine. But when the sun comes up, I shove all the shit back under lock and key so I don’t have to think about it.
So I don’t have to face it, or the fact that my life has turned out nothing like what I expected it to be.
It’s probably not the best way to handle the situation, and it’s definitely not the healthiest. But it’s what I’ve got right now when I’m finally—finally—on the precipice of regaining the keys to the kingdom and winning Lola’s heart. I don’t have time for a meltdown, and I sure as hell don’t have time to deal with all the shit from the abduction. There will be time enough for that later, after everything else is taken care of
“I barely get to see you.” I continue complaining as I pull her closer.
“Yes, well, we all have our jobs,” she says, sniffing a little at my complaints even as she reaches up and pats my cheek. “Yours is to strut around as His Royal Hotness, posing for pics and breaking hearts. Mine is to hustle my ass off to fill the insane demand that has rocked my site since I became Gorgeous Garrett’s very public girlfriend. It’s a rough life, but someone’s got to do it.”
“Excuuuuuse me,” I squawk in mock outrage as I push to my feet. “I happen to do a lot more than just strut around. In fact, I have an appointment with the Prime Minister in two hours.” I start folding the blanket we’ve been picnicking on.
“Oh, really?” She looks me over from head to toe in a way that can only be described as lascivious. It gets me hot all over again, even though I know she’s only messing with me. “And what will you two be doing during this ‘appointment’?’?”
“Keeping up diplomacy between our two great nations.”
“And by keeping up diplomacy, you mean strutting around together looking hot and drinking in some local bar where you can break double the hearts and take double the pics.”
“You know me so well.”
“I know you better than you think,” she answers, sounding serious for the first time since we arrived. I start to ask her what she means, but before I can, she takes off toward the nearest trash and recycle bins to throw away our garbage.
“What time will you be back at the hotel?” I ask, as I tuck the blanket under my arm and then take hold of her hand.
“Careful, Gorgeous Garrett. If you don’t watch it, it’s going to start sounding like you’ll miss me.”
“I will miss you.” It’s a bold statement considering we still haven’t officially talked about how our arrangement has changed lately, but I’m feeling bold right now. Besides, it’s the truth, and I’m tired of pretending it isn’t. This thing between us might have started out as an accident turned into a convenient hoax, but the more time I spend with Lola, the more real my feelings for her become. Especially after the week we’ve spent together, where every part of it has felt real and special and…right.
It’s way past time for me to let her know how I feel—and to figure out how she feels in return.
She softens instantly, her smile going from bright to gentle in the space between one breath and the next. Surely that means she feels something for me as well. “I’ll miss you too,” she murmurs.
She presses up onto her tiptoes, then wraps a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me down for a quick kiss. “Let’s make a deal. You hurry through your drinks with the Prime Minister, I’ll rush through the two estate sales I have scheduled for this afternoon, and we’ll meet back at the hotel at eight o’clock. We can spend all night making love in the hot tub and vegging out in front of the TV. Sound good?”
“Sounds amazing.” I pull her in
for one more kiss. “Stay close to Xavier and Van,” I say, nodding toward the security detail I’ve brought in for her. Kian says it’s overkill, and maybe it is, but after what happened to me, I’m not taking any chances. Not with Lola. Not ever.
“Aye, aye, Captain.” She gives a mock salute, then just sighs when I continue to stare at her blankly. “Sometimes dating someone who doesn’t get my American pop culture references really bites.”
“Oh, I got it,” I tell her as I propel her toward the park’s exit. “I just chose not to acknowledge the impertinence.”
“My, my, don’t we sound all snooty this afternoon,” she says with a sniff. “Practicing for the Prime Minister?”
“More like trying to keep you from walking all over me.”
She gives me a wicked grin. “A little late for that, isn’t it?”
It is. It’s way too late and I’m just now beginning to realize it. Not that I’m going to tell her that in the middle of a park with a bunch of paps recording our every move. “Hope springs eternal.”
She presses close. “Looks like hope isn’t the only thing that does that,” she tells me as she rubs against my rapidly hardening dick.
“It’s not my fault that everything about you turns me on.” I wrap a hand around her waist and hold her against me for one second, two, as I try to get my body under some kind of control. “You’re a wicked, wicked woman, Lola Barnes.”
“I am,” she agrees solemnly. “And don’t you forget it.”
