Page 10 of Hate You to Love You

Jones seems to sense my unease and gives me a light pat on the shoulder. ‘He shared something online about being back from London. It’s all right to feel weird about it. I know how much you miss him.’

I try not to look so scornful. ‘I don’t feel weird about it. I just don’t want to talk about him. Or hear the name Elliot Simpson ever again.’

‘Okay, but you haven’t even told us what happened between you two when he left. We want to respect your space, but we’re worried about you, mate.’

What was I supposed to say? The truth was as clear as day. Elliot left because I didn’t matter. I wasn’t someone worth fighting for. I wasn’t enough.

‘There’s nothing to talk about. Elliot is my past. That’s all.’

‘All right. If you’re sure…’

‘I’m sure,’ I insist.

Jones sighs and places a hand back on my shoulder. ‘And you’re sure there’s nothing else bothering you? I know we’ve all been busy, but you’ve seemed a bit distant lately.’

I feel heat race through my body. If only Jones knew how close he was to the truth. Being distant was the only way I knew how to protect myself from the sinking feeling that the foundation of our friendship was changing.

‘It’s just that work has been busy. I got a promotion,’ I tell him. Okay, so I am massaging the truth a little bit. But I put on a smile and tell myself that everything is fine.

Jones’s face lights up. ‘Mate, that’s fantastic. Why didn’t you say anything?’

I continue to walk back towards the table, hoping to avoid more questions. ‘Because it’s new. I only found out today and I didn’t want to tell you all in case it didn’t work out.’

‘You should be proud. I knew your writing would take you far,’ Jones says as he gives me a gentle slap on the back. ‘So, what’s the promotion?’

‘They’ve made me head writer.’ My stomach churns as I spin the lie. ‘And my first gig is to do an exclusive interview with Claudia Leighton.’ If the rest of the group are moving on with their lives, I’m determined to show them that I am too.

Jones holds out his arm to stop me. His jaw drops. ‘Claudia Leighton? Creator of the Golden Ruins series? Isn’t it, like, impossible to get her in public these days?’

‘I guess they thought I’d be the perfect person for the job,’ I reply, cheeks hurting from my forced smile.

‘That’s huge, mate!’ Jones congratulates me. ‘This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I can’t believe you’re going to be in the same room as Claudia Leighton.’

‘Neither can I,’ I reply. ‘We’ll be on tour for about three weeks. It’s exciting.’

Jones continues back towards our table in the courtyard. ‘I’ll be honest. There was a part of me that was a little worried you were stuck in a rut there with your writing, so I’m glad it’s going well for you.’

I’m silent as I follow Jones back to the table. We raise our glasses and congratulate the happy couple one more time. As we drink, Laney and Patrick tell us all about their wedding plans. They plan to have the ceremony as soon as possible, given the unpredictable nature of Laney’s mum’s health, and we’re told that she wants the three of us to organise engagement celebration drinks next Saturday. Despite all the exciting plans, I find it hard to concentrate. Jones’s comment about me being stuck in a rut lingers in my mind.

Maybe the interview with Claudia really is my chance for a reset. Jones will be moving to Queensland. Sal has moved out west. Laney and Patrick are entering a new chapter of their lives. And me? I’m going to move forward. Just like everyone else. Even if it means spending time with Elliot Simpson. He may have ruined my life once, but I most certainly will not let him do it again.

chapter four

then

The tips of my fingers brush a stranger’s hand as I reach for a copy of Fortunate Discovery by Maggie O’Hara. I’m at Gleebooks, a small independent bookshop in the inner Sydney suburb of Glebe, and it’s the first of December. The bookshop is full of last-minute Christmas shoppers and a frantic energy reverberates among the shelves. Customers seem to grab whatever they can get their hands on, reaching for books on high shelves like they’re picking apples. A crowd has formed at the front counter as people try to get the bookseller’s attention. But the chaos only adds to the charm of the store, which is decked out with fairy lights strung up among the books, garlands and tinsel hanging from the ceiling.

The movies I watched growing up always made white Christmases feel so magical, but if you ask me there’s something exciting about the holidays taking place in the summer. The clear blue skies and the heat against your skin makes it feel like something good is going to happen.

‘Sorry,’ I say to the stranger in front of me, my eyes tracking up his hand and arm, before finally meeting his blue eyes.

As the stranger looks back at me, he pulls his hand back and brushes it through his floppy dark brown hair. He’s wearing a creased linen button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He reminds me of a nineties Hugh Grant. Especially with the easy smile he offers me.

‘Fortunate Discovery, huh?’ he asks. We both look at the single copy left on the shelf.

I nod. ‘I saw a review online that said it was Australia’s answer to the movie Serendipity,’ I explain, leaving out the fact that the aforementioned review had been written by me.

Fortunate Discovery is about two strangers who meet by chance when they accidentally pay for each other’s meals at a restaurant. What follows is an epic love story of near misses spanning years. I hadn’t intended to show anyone my review, until I mentioned it to Jones and he convinced me to take a chance and submit it to pop culture website Vortex. And for once, I didn’t overthink it. I could hardly believe it when the editor responded, saying that it had resonated with them so much that they wanted to publish it.