Page 27 of Hate You to Love You

I’m sobbing over an article I wrote about the importance of bookstore displays in driving customers into stores, when the door to the supply closet opens. I quickly wipe my tears away.

‘There you are,’ Addie says. ‘Oh god, crying is not what I meant when I said your Co–Star horoscope reminder for today was to open your heart.’

‘I don’t know if I can do this, Addie.’

She grabs a stack of paper sitting on the shelf beside me and hits me with it. ‘Get up,’ she demands.

‘Ow!’ I cry out.

‘You’re not even trying.’ Addie says. ‘Do you want to know why you’re finding this project so hard? It’s because you’re spending more time feeling sorry for yourself than actually writing.’

I rest my head against the back wall, feeling shame engulf me.

‘Look at this.’ Addie reaches for my phone and scrolls through the articles I was looking at. ‘It says “Why romance readers want to believe in a happily ever after” by Carlos Reyes. And you know what? The passion in your words made me feel something. Your words are what convinced me to dive into a genre I had never read before. Do you think the guy that wrote this article sat around pouting?’

‘No,’ I say with a sigh, giving into Addie’s pep talk.

‘Exactly,’ she says. ‘The guy who wrote that article is still inside you. You’re still him. Remember that.’

Letting her words sink in, I look at the stack of old issues of the magazine. I can almost taste the feeling of inspiration that used to overtake me. And now I had an opportunity to taste that again, but I was blowing it.

‘You’re right,’ I say to her. ‘I’m messing this up.’

‘Of course I’m right,’ she replies with a cheeky smile. ‘Don’t forget that the person you used to be is still somewhere in there. Now, don’t you have that talk show interview with Claudia to get to?’

‘I do, but…’ I look at my phone. The last place I want to be is at the studio with Elliot, yet time seems to be moving faster the more I want it to stay still.

‘But what?’

‘It’s Elliot. I can’t do it. Maybe I can work with Claudia, but I swear that Elliot is determined to make my life a living hell.’

Addie reaches out towards me to pull me up. ‘Are you really going to let a guy who hurt you ruin your career?’

If only it were that simple, I want to say.

‘If it’s really over between you and Elliot, let it be over. Remind yourself that you are two very different people now. And you’re both here to do a job, right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Then do the job.’

Addie is right. My career is all I have left, and I’m not going to let Elliot be the reason I lose it. Not after the way he left me. Elliot Simpson was my past, and he was going to stay there.

Do the job. I play Addie’s words on repeat as I arrive at the Seven Network studios, where Claudia had been lined up to film a special segment for Sunday Night, an entertainment and current affairs program. My brief had made it clear that I was to report on the impact of Claudia’s first televised interview in years, framing it as part of her comeback tour.

The process of getting checked into the studio by security is seamless, and I’m led down a hallway to where Claudia is getting her make-up done. Her eyes are shut as one of the make-up artists sweeps a brush over her cheek. An overhead light projects an angelic glow over her.

Trying to forget the awkwardness of our last meeting, I’m determined to make a fresh start. So I take a deep breath and say, ‘Good morning, Claudia.’

She doesn’t say a word.

Her silence cuts through my confidence, but I plunge on. ‘This is a big day for you. Your first television interview in years. How does it feel?’

A make-up artist runs a comb through Claudia’s blonde hair. ‘It feels like they’ve put too much blush on me,’ she says, giving nothing away.

‘They’re almost ready for us on set,’ I hear someone bark suddenly from behind us. It’s Elliot.

‘Elliot,’ I greet him.