Page 36 of Hate You to Love You

‘Yeah,’ I reply as he takes another step towards me.

‘Like this?’ Elliot takes both his hands and rests them tenderly on the back of my neck. I shiver at the sudden warmth of his skin against mine. The softness of his breath. And then he leans forward and kisses me on the forehead.

I close my eyes, and let the world melt around me. Nothing else matters. The kiss ends and Elliot takes a few steps back.

‘Sorry,’ he mutters, ‘I probably shouldn’t have done that.’

‘Don’t be sorry,’ I blurt. ‘I…’

I wanted you to kiss me.

I wanted you to keep going.

I didn’t want you to stop.

All I want is Elliot close to me. I could tell him how I feel and risk ruining our friendship. I could also not tell him anything, and risk never having something more. I decide the second option sounds worse.

‘Elliot… I like you, as more than a friend,’ I admit. ‘But it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I honestly don’t know what we are. We never started off as friends. And if I’m being one hundred per cent honest, the first time I met you, I didn’t like you. But you make me feel like I can just go after what I want. You make life so exciting.’

Elliot’s face softens with a smile. In fact, it’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him. He shoves his hands in his pocket. ‘I’ve been so afraid of telling you how I feel,’ he confesses. ‘You came into my life in the most unexpected way, and you bring so much colour into my world, you reminded me what it means to be truly happy… The only thing I know is that I want you.’ He looks up at me and grins. ‘If this was a nineties rom-com and I asked you out, what would you say?’

‘Maybe I’d say yes,’ I tease. My heart skips a beat.

‘And then what would I do next?’

‘You’d kiss me,’ I say.

‘Like this?’ he inches forward, and gently, slowly, touches his lips to mine.

My heart lifts within my chest. The tenderness of his body against me is like being slowly awakened by the warmth of the sun on a summer morning. The kind of morning when you can sink back into your bed without a worry in the world.

Elliot nudges closer, continuing to kiss me. With every breath I take, I can feel his chest rising and falling in time with mine.

The kiss is becoming more passionate when he pulls away from me. My heart races with what we’ve just done. As if the universe has been divided into two distinct moments: before the kiss and after the kiss. There’s a part of me that’s scared of what this means.

‘Thoughts?’ he asks.

I can’t stop the smile that’s on my face. ‘I liked that.’

He grins. ‘I could kiss you again.’

‘Wait,’ I say suddenly, stepping back. ‘What does this mean? What does this make us?’

‘Well, I did just ask you out. You could give me your answer?’

I gulp nervously.

‘Carlos?’

I smile. ‘Yes.’

Elliot takes a step back and holds his hands up to the air, as if pretending to hold something.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Imagine I’m John Cusack holding up the boom box in Say Anything,’ he says playfully. ‘This is my grand gesture for you.’

I feel my lips curl up. ‘Then I think what follows the grand gesture is a kiss.’