Page 49 of Hate You to Love You

I stare at him, confused. ‘Isn’t that your job?’

‘This isn’t a game, Carlos. I haven’t got time for your sarcastic comments.’

He storms off, and I attempt to meet a few more people from the Redhouse team but fail to slip into conversation naturally. This might be because Elliot’s presence is distracting me. Seeing him wander from person to person, turning on the charm, sets off a flame of anger that had burrowed deep within my heart. There was a time when I had found Elliot’s devotion to books endearing. These days, it seems as if furthering his career is all that truly matters to him.

I pick a quiet moment, grab my things, and slip out of the bar. A black taxi approaches and I manage to flag it down. The air feels thick with silence on the drive back to the hotel. I need to forget about Elliot. My focus is waning, and in the end, he is simply a coworker. A stranger.

When I’m finally back in Elliot’s room, I slam the door behind me and fall onto the bed, dropping my bags beside my suitcase. It’s only then that I get the sense that I’ve forgotten something. I look through my bags. My signed copy of One Day is still there. And so is the Daunt Books tote bag. But all of a sudden, it hits me: Claudia’s notebook. That’s what’s missing.

chapter twenty-one

‘Don’t freak out,’ I say to Elliot, despite the fact that I am very much freaking out myself.

After turning the hotel room upside down with no sign of the diary, I’ve rushed back to Happiness Forgets and explained the situation to Elliot.

‘You mean, like a personal diary? How could you lose something like that?’ he lectures, pacing around the front of the bar. ‘How did you get your hands on this notebook anyway?’

‘You gave it to me with all her process notebooks and journals,’ I say. ‘So really, this is your fault.’

‘I haven’t got time to pass the blame,’ Elliot says harshly. ‘This isn’t a game, Carlos.’

‘Can we just focus on finding it?’ I moan. The way he said my name with a hint of fury in his voice stings.

‘It’s definitely not here. Are you sure you didn’t leave it lying around while sightseeing?’ His irritation is obvious in his tone.

‘Of course I’m sure,’ I snap back.

Elliot’s entire demeanour has changed yet again. There’s a frantic energy coming from him that I’ve never experienced before. I catch the way he tries to calm himself down by closing a fist and rubbing it across his chest.

‘It’ll be okay,’ I say. ‘We’ll find it.’

Elliot scoffs and throws his hands up in the air. ‘I told you that these notebooks must be returned by the end of the tour. Do you know how much trouble we’ll be in if they realise one is missing?’

‘You don’t have to remind me,’ I reply, defeated. ‘I’m one hundred per cent sure I had it inside the bar. Let’s just do another search in there.’

‘What were you thinking, carting it around the city? Are you ever going to take this interview seriously?’ Elliot continues to fling furious questions at me.

‘Elliot!’ I shout. ‘It’s okay, calm down. We’ll sort it out.’

Elliot goes still, as if he is unable to breathe. His shoulders are tense but they fall as he exhales slowly. We head back into the bar and split up as we search the room for the notebook. Elliot focuses on the guests to see if anyone has it in their hands while I inspect every table in case there’s a chance I left it lying around. I think back to the last time I saw the notebook, when Charles was pressing me for information about Elliot. I was sure I’d slipped it into the Daunt Books tote. Was there a chance I got distracted and dropped it on the floor?

Not wanting to face Claudia’s wrath, I drop to my hands and knees and pore over every corner of the floor.

‘Excuse me,’ I mutter, crawling in between people. ‘Don’t mind me.’

But the notebook definitely isn’t here. I pick myself up from the floor and run over to Elliot, who is leaning over the counter at the bar.

‘Someone must have picked it up,’ I tell him. ‘Why don’t we ask people if they’ve seen it?’

‘We can’t,’ Elliot snaps. His breathing picks up again and he closes the fist of his right hand, rubbing it over his chest. ‘We can’t, we can’t, we can’t,’ he repeats.

‘Is Charles Durand still here?’ I ask. ‘I was talking to him when I last saw the notebook.’

Elliot clenches his fist more tightly. Anger spreads over his face. ‘Wait a minute. Charles saw you with the notebook?’

‘Yes, but there’s no way he could have known it was Claudia’s—’

I pause.