Page 145 of Hellbent

This wasn’t going well.

There was a knock on his door. Joey called through, “Wanna try that meditating stuff before you go?”

Evan said, “Yes, please.”

* * *

Evan and Joey sat facing each other in the loft. After Operation Getting Dressed for Dinner, he figured he needed to meditate more than she did. He’d thrown his clothes back on hastily and headed up to meet her in the loft.

She assumed an erect yogi’s posture. “Back in Richmond you told David Smith, ‘You can’t help people more than they want to help themselves.’”

Evan said, “Yes.”

He could see that it was taking everything she had to get the words out.

“I want to help myself,” she said. “I want to wind up better.”

“Okay.”

“Clearly I suck at meditation.”

“That’s not clear. It might be doing exactly what it should be doing.”

“Walk me through how to do it again?”

Jack had taught Evan proper procedures for everything from fieldstripping a pistol to readying for meditation. He started to haul out the directives now when he caught himself and thought of the new Commandment he’d invented for himself—and for Joey.

Don’t fall in love with Plan A.

She was waiting on him, puzzled by his delay.

“You know what?” he said. “Maybe we’ve been approaching this wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sit however’s comfortable. However makes you feel safe.”

She gave a nervous laugh. “I don’t know.”

“Then figure it out.”

She looked around. Then she rolled her shoulders. Cracked her jaw. She crossed her legs and uncrossed them. “Can I go to my couch?”

“You can do anything you want.”

She got up on the couch, hugged her pillow, pulled her knees in to her chest. She took a cushion and pressed it against her shins. She put another against her exposed side, building a burrow. “Is this weird?”

“There’s no such thing as weird.”

“Okay,” she said. “Okay.”

“Does that feel all right?”

She nodded, two quick jerks of her head.

“Just focus on your breath now, and let your body talk to you.”

He closed his eyes. As the first minute passed, he acquainted himself with the silence. He barely had time to narrow his focus when she broke. The first shuddering breath and then the storm.