Page 96 of Antihero

“Do we really require a vote,” Evan said flatly, “on grass length?”

“Every reg alteration requires a supermajority, Mr. Smoak.” Hugh was sporting two days’ growth, which on him looked like cosplay. “In addition to the Grass Length Initiative, we also have to vote on barbecue-grill restrictions for the balconies. Some of the new residents have been using a, let’s just say, liberal interpretation of our fire-hazard parameters.”

“Mom, I’m heading up,” Peter said. “I haveta do state capitals.”

“Okay, honey.” Mia’s mouth was pursed. There were few things she enjoyed more than watching Evan in social distress. “I think I’ll stay and … visit.”

“I should go, too,” Evan said.

But when he started off, Mia wove her arm through his, trapping him at her side. Over the plumeria, he caught a whiff of lemongrass, the smell of Mia, his olfactory cortex exploding in delightful confusion.

“How have you two been?” Mia asked, holding Evan firm.

“Our relationship has been a-maze-ing!” Lorilee said. “Who knew it was supposed to be this easy! It’s been like … like a four-month orgasm.”

Bile tickled the back of Evan’s throat.

“We’ve been moving into pure positivity,” Hugh said.

“Everything bad we take in just as information,” Lorilee said. “Devoid of emotional content. I mean, the other day I dropped a coffee mug in the kitchen and I just stared at it. Normally I’d be upset, a busted mug, shards and mess, oh no. But instead, I thought about how my normal reactions were about material attachment and I just don’t have to have any. I don’t have to have any at all.”

“Wow, Lorilee,” Mia said, squeezing Evan’s biceps. “That’s wonderful.”

The scent of the peonies was overpowering. Evan wondered if Hugh was going to blanket the duvet with them, Vegas-style.

“We’ve shed our ‘yeah, but’ selves,” Hugh volunteered. “And become ‘yes, and’ people.”

“Yes, and” people annoyed the shit out of Evan, but he elected not to say as much.

“We have, haven’t we, baby?” Lorilee’s gold glitter nail extensions picked at Hugh’s hair attentively, the manner vaguely simian.

“Where are your glasses, Hugh?” Mia asked.

“I got contacts.” Hugh beamed, squeezing Lorilee’s hand. “Her idea.”

“Isn’t he ruggedly handsome?” Lorilee squealed.

Hugh was many things, ruggedly handsome not among them.

Evan said, “I need to leave now.”

“We can ride up together!” Hugh said.

“The cart,” Evan said. “I don’t think we’ll all fit.”

“We can squeeze in,” Mia said.

“I don’t want to inconvenience them,” Evan said, rotating his hand at Joaquin to call the elevator.

Mia, practically bubbling with glee: “I’m sure it’s no trouble.”

“It really isn’t, Ev.”

The car came and Evan helped wheel the cart inside and then stood back in the lobby, enduring Hugh and Lorilee’s protestations as the doors closed.

Mia cracked up.

From the security desk, Joaquin said, “Damn, Ms. Hall. You cold.”