Page 42 of The Endless One

Elric tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, gently trailing his fingers along her jaw. “Did you really believe they only killed me, Jessamine? Why would they all give up their lives just to kill a single god, when all the gods had failed humanity?”

Her face crumpled. This was what he hadn’t wanted to see. The disappointment. The anxiety and fear that swelled up at the realization that they hadn’t figured out a new plan. Or perhaps that they had, but it wouldn’t have the ending that she wanted.

“No,” he said, before she could even say it. “You are not going to die so the rest of them can live.”

Those big eyes stared up into his, and he knew what she was going to say. “If that’s how it has to be to keep everyone else safe, how could I do anything other than that, Elric? If a single person has to die for the rest of my kingdom to thrive, it is selfish to think of saving myself and killing the rest of them.”

Anger already boiled in his veins. He couldn’t stop himself. One moment, he was staring down at her, and the next, both of his hands were wrapped around her throat. He lifted her close to his lips, holding her steady so that she would not only hear his words, but breathe them in.

“You are not going to kill yourself, Jessamine Harmsworth. I have prevented you from dying multiple times now, and I will not let you go. You do not have my permission to die.” He squeezed her throat a little harder when she tried to speak. “Oh, don’t argue with me, nightmare. You do need my permission because you are just as much mine as I am yours.”

He dragged her closer, sealing with their words with a brutal kiss that was as bruising as it was a desperate bid for her to understand the feelings rolling inside of him. He needed her to know that without her, there was nothing. The world was bleak without her in it. If she was gone, then he would destroy it all.

He allowed her to pull back just enough to place her hands on his chest. “Elric.”

“No. You do not get to be a martyr, Jessamine Harmsworth. I will bring you back from the dead a thousand times if I must, but this kingdom and all those lives will not be the reason we must part.”

“It’s the right thing to do.”

“There is always another way.” The words tore out of his throat, perhaps a little more ragged and frantic than before. “Always.”

She was still thinking about it. He could see it in her eyes. She was trying to figure out a way to die while he was still alive.

He kissed her again, feeling desperation bleed into every single touch. “Please, nightmare. Please don’t leave me here alone.”

That was the only thing that seemed to get through to her. Her gaze softened, her lips were more plush against his, and finally she kissed him back with enough hunger that some of the anxiety in his chest eased.

“Of course,” she whispered against his mouth. “I’m sorry, Elric. I shouldn’t have frightened you. That’s the worst-case scenario. It won’t come to that.”

“There can be no chance of it at all, my love.”

Because he refused to lose her. He refused to see her die while he remained here.

Even if she hated him for it. Even if she never wanted to see him again, knowing that she was still alive would keep him going. He would make this world a better place for her and only her.

He kissed her again, urging her against his body so he could feel her. He didn’t want to let her go. Not yet. Not until he was assured that she was still here, and she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Elric,” she whispered between kisses. “You’re scaring me.”

He was scaring himself. The thought of losing her shouldn’t make him feel this out of control. It shouldn’t make him so afraid that he couldn’t function, and yet, here they were. He couldn’t even breathe through the fear of it.

“Jessamine,” he finally said, pulling himself back from her to stare down into those dark eyes. He dragged the scent of her into his lungs as though it were the only way to keep it.

He was terrified that he would forget these tiny details that made her so beautiful to him. If she was gone, if she did this without his permission, then he dreaded what would happen in the end.

With their connection lost, there was nowhere he would be able to find her. Death would send her into the realm there was no coming back from. He wouldn’t be able to get her. Didn’t she understand that? He couldn’t save her another time, and if he couldn’t save her…

“There has to be another way,” she said, forcing his attention back to her. “There has to be a way to save all of us, Elric. The witches killed them before. Surely that meant there was another option that they looked over?”

“You won’t let this go, will you?”

“Not a chance.”

He sighed and dropped his forehead so he was pressed against hers. “Then I will bring you to the last known place where the gravesingers practiced. I do not know if you will find any answers there. But there’s a chance.”

“A chance is all I’m asking for.”

He hadn’t thought to ever come back here. And considering the state of the place, it was very likely that no one else thought anyone would return either. He had thought perhaps Sybil would take care of the old haunts, but she had only taken care of the house.