Page 112 of Just Past Two

“It’s okay,” Matthew said, smiling. “You were right. I could be trying harder. I want to be trying harder. I applied for the technical manager job before I left.” He squeezed Silas’s hands. “You make me want to be better, Silas.”

“Don’t do it like me, though.” Silas shook his head. The emotion was thick in his chest, hope for what they could have and grief for what they almost threw away, sadness that Matthew had felt inadequate because of him. “Don’t give up your whole life for it.”

Matthew pulled Silas in for another kiss, right there on the pedestrian bridge, like he couldn’t wait any longer. His scent enveloped Silas, who opened his mouth under Matthew’s and closed his eyes, barely feeling the cold. When Matthew drew away, he wasn’t ready, and he chased the kiss, but Matthew only laughed and pulled on Silas’s hand. “Come on. It’s fucking freezing out here.”

The delay was momentary, as they finished crossing the pedestrian bridge and got back to Matthew’s hotel room at the Marriott, but it felt interminable to Silas, who had waited for this all week and didn’t want to wait any longer. With the heavy hotel room door closed and locked behind them, he pressed Matthew against the wall, holding his head with both hands and kissing him with a week’s worth of pent-up emotion.

“Easy,” Matthew said, laughing and pulling back, holding Silas at arm’s length. “No need to rush.”

Silas fixed him with a glare. “I’m tired of waiting. I’ve been waiting all week.”

“Yeah, me too. You’re the one who didn’t call back, remember.” Matthew tugged him out of the entryway by the hand, leading him over to the bed.

“Semantics.” Silas took Matthew by the lapels of his coat and dragged him in for another kiss. Matthew came along willingly, his mouth opening against Silas’s, their breath mingling, and Silas’s body was white-hot even after the cold outside. He wanted more, all of it, right now, and he pushed the coat down off Matthew’s shoulders.

“Tell me what you want, Silas.” Matthew shrugged his coat the rest of the way off and tossed it onto a chair. He was already kicking off his sneakers. “After today, I mean.”

Silas swallowed. He knew this question would come up, and Matthew needed to know. “I want to be with you. Just you. Committed. All in.” He took off his coat and sweatshirt, leaving them in a pile on top of Matthew’s jacket, stepping out of his shoes as well. “If you want me.” Adrenaline rushed hot in his veins, because it was possible Matthew didn’t want anything serious, or wasn’t willing to commit beyond today, this trip, one day at a time.

Matthew smiled, though. He backed Silas up against the wall, just like he had the very first time in that dark coatroom. “Of course I want you.” He didn’t kiss Silas, not yet, but he cupped his cheek with one hand, rubbing his thumb along Silas’s cheekbone, staring straight ahead into his eyes. Silas felt himself slipping when he gazed into those dark brown depths, wanting to get lost in Matthew. “Shit, maybe I’m crazy, but I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Silas closed his eyes, overcome, leaning back against the wall to keep himself upright. He didn’t think he’d be ready to say those words, not yet, but hearing Matthew say them was everything he wanted. “Me too. It’s terrifying.” He opened his eyes. “I’ll try not to be an asshole.”

Matthew laughed, tipping his head forward to rest his forehead against Silas’s. “I’ll let you know if you are. I’ll try not to be such an insecure douche. Or at least, I’ll try to admit it when it happens.”

“That’s fair.” Silas couldn’t speak much above a whisper. Here, in Matthew’s room, with their bodies pressed together like puzzle pieces, he wanted all of it. He was shocked by the depth of his own longing, the deep craving for more, for everything Matthew had to give. “Can we be done with the emotional talk now?” he asked, Matthew’s face so close to his that they were almost speaking mouth-to-mouth already. “I really want to fuck you.”

Matthew laughed, kissing Silas even while he was laughing. “God, it’s so hot when you swear.” He pulled back. “Say it again.”

Silas smiled. The giddy enthusiasm was getting to him, too. “Fuck me. Is that what you want me to say? That I want to fuck, want your mouth and your hands and your hard cock?”

Matthew groaned, and one hand came up to fist in Silas’s hair, dragging his head backward, exposing his neck. Silas groaned and closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the pinpricks of pain that felt so good. He’d missed this, all of this, the way Matthew could push his tolerances in exactly the right ways, just enough, never too far. When Matthew scraped his teeth against the tender skin of Silas’s neck, just below his ear, Silas whimpered and pressed his hips forward into his partner’s. They were both rock hard.

“You’d better get these clothes off right now.” Matthew spoke into Silas’s skin, licking the spot he’d just bitten.

They stripped in a tangle of limbs and clothing, kissing constantly, and Matthew dragged the sheets and blankets off the bed and toppled Silas onto it, climbing down on top of him and pressing their mouths together again. Naked, the hot slide of skin on skin was electrifying. Matthew’s mouth was everywhere, on his neck, his chest, his nipples, both hands skimming over Silas’s body, neglecting his hard cock.

Silas rolled Matthew down onto his back, pressing him into the mattress. He wanted this man, chose this man, and now he was going to take what he’d chosen. Matthew watched him, smiling, as Silas stroked over his chest, thumbing his flat nipples, then stroking down the soft edges of his stomach, light enough that Matthew squirmed. Matthew’s cock was lying flat against his stomach, and Silas took its length in both hands and squeezed.

Matthew made a noise on his exhale, muscles tightening. Silas watched the man laid out in front of him like a banquet as he stroked, seeing Matthew’s abs clench and his arms twitch as he grabbed the bedsheets. He loved that he could do this, take this beautiful and strong man and reduce him to pure, quivering physical need. He set up a rhythm of firm strokes, root to tip, and each one made Matthew thrust up into his hands.

“Fuck, that’s good.” Matthew spread his legs, giving Silas access to his balls, the thin skin of his sac, and Silas cupped them while teasing his cock head. It leaked wetly over his fingers, and he stopped stroking Matthew to give himself some attention, rubbing his slick fingers over his own length.

“Do you have lube?” Silas asked, one hand on each of their dicks. He knew what he wanted.

Matthew nodded. “Mmm. Never travel without it.” When Silas let go, he reached into the nightstand and produced lube.

Thank goodness. Silas climbed off the bed and dug a condom out of his jeans. “Condoms are good.” He fixed Matthew with a stare. “Together, we’re prepared for anything.”

Matthew met Silas’s gaze and nodded, understanding what Silas had left unsaid. He pushed himself up to a sitting position and fixed Silas with a deliberate stare. “What do you want, Silas?”

Silas set the condom over by the lube and crawled over on top of Matthew, feeling empowered, horny, and desperate for one thing. “I want you to fuck me.” He dropped a kiss on Matthew’s lips. “Do you want to fuck me?”

“I didn’t know you liked to bottom.” Matthew opened his eyes and drew his tongue across his lips.

Silas gave a half shrug as best as he could in this position. “Sometimes. With the right person.” He loved both, actually, topping and bottoming. “Right now, I want to climb on you and ride you. How does that sound?”

“Fucking fabulous.” Matthew flopped back on the pillows and slid his hands down over Silas’s hips to cup his ass, squeezing the flesh there and pulling him close. “Come here. Scoot up.”