Page 24 of Just Past Two

Bella laughed. “You both take it easy. It’s a quiet night. Don’t want you getting all rowdy up in here.”

She walked away, and Mitchell let him take both tequila shots. “All right,” Mitchell repeated. “You aren’t a heavy drinking guy. Wanna tell me what’s up?”

“I don’t know, man.” Sam was fuzzy all through his brain. “I don’t know. This is personal shit. Stuff. I’m sorry for swearing.”

Mitchell laughed. “It’s fine. I don’t care if you swear. I’m not a priest. I’m pretty far from a priest, to tell you the truth.”

Whatever that meant. “I don’t want to overshare or get all weird or something.”

Mitchell shrugged. “Listen, Sam. I’ve got nothing better going on right now, and you look like you’re in a bad way.”

“See, I’m not.” That was the weirdest part about it. “I’m not in a bad way. I’m just…” Well, he might as well get into this. “You ever think you understand everything about yourself, and then something comes along and just shakes you right down to your core? Like, you realize everything you knew about yourself was incomplete, there was this whole other half just, just there?”

Mitchell smiled, this amused smile, like Sam had just told a great joke. “You’ve got no idea.”

That wasn’t the reaction he’d been expecting at all. Come to think of it, he didn’t really know Mitchell that well, aside from work and CrossFit and some drinks, and he’d have described them as friends, but they didn’t share anything super personal. They talked exclusively about distant stuff, stuff unconnected to their personal lives beyond the superficial. He blinked at Mitchell, taken aback. “Okay. Well…I’m going through that right now. Been going through it all week.”

“It’s hard, reevaluating yourself. You want to get more specific, or talk generally?”

Sam looked around. There was nobody there. “It’s sex stuff.”

Mitchell snorted. “Yeah, I figured. So, what? You figure out you’re not straight or something?”

“No, nothing that extreme.” He shifted on his chair. “So it started at Abby’s college reunion, when I find out she used to be this whole different person. Somebody she doesn’t think I’d like, because she used to be way more…I don’t know, sexually adventurous.” And he told the story, about making the bet, about wanting to show her that he could handle whatever she could throw at him, about them exchanging fantasies. Nachos showed up, and he split them with Mitchell, who helped himself. The nachos were a good choice, because he had been fucking starving. Normally, empty carbs and cheese weren’t his plan of attack, but there was something about nachos that really hit the spot tonight.

“Anyway, she said she wanted to try something kinky. Some BDSM stuff. Wants me to be her Dom. And we fooled around with this, last weekend.”

He paused. There were several ways to get further into this story, and another Old Fashioned had shown up (Had he ordered that? He must have.) so he drank a little of it while he considered.

“And you discovered you really liked it.” Again, not a question from Mitchell, a statement.

“Yeah. I really liked it. It blew my fucking mind. But now I don’t know how to even be with Abby, because I know she liked it too, and that feels…different. Like we’ve had this shift in how we are together.” He sagged, pulling a nacho off the plate and popping it into his mouth. “I don’t know what comes next.”

Mitchell made a thoughtful noise. He did that a lot, those contemplative noises. “How does it change who you are together?”

“Because there’s this whole power exchange thing just, just hanging out there. And what if she wants more of it?”

“You liked it,” Mitchell reminded him. “You can just have more of it.”

“But I didn’t even know I was like this.” Sam sighed, tipping his head back. “I can’t believe I’m even talking about this shit. Out loud. In public. To you.” He had some more of his drink. “Don’t judge me. I’m not a deviant.”

Mitchell laughed. He didn’t laugh much, not that kind of open-mouthed, earnest laugh, but he clearly wasn’t laughing at Sam. He was laughing…with him? He definitely seemed amused at himself, not at Sam, and Sam was missing something here.

“Listen. Sam.” Mitchell patted Sam’s shoulder. “You’re overthinking this, man. It’s just kink. It’s only as serious as you want it to be. You like giving your wife orders, you both get off on it, great. Do it. You’re both happy with it. It doesn’t have to change anything else.” At Sam’s dubious look, he went on. “You don’t have to start wearing leather clothes and get her a collar and a leash.” He paused. “Unless you’re both into that.”

“But it’s a whole identity thing,” Sam reiterated. “I don’t know who I am anymore. I started all this to show Abby that I could keep up with her. I didn’t think I’d get so into it.”

“Seems like that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” Mitchell shrugged. He stared up at the bottles behind the bar, mouth set, and finally nodded as he seemed to make up his mind about something.

“Sam, I’m a Dominant.”

Sam stared at him. Mitchell had spoken low, low enough that only Sam could hear, which was a good reminder that the bar wasn’t super busy and they should keep their voices down. Sam had a tendency to get loud when he was drunk.

Mitchell waited for some kind of response, and when it didn’t come, he tipped his head. “Like you. I’m into that. It’s what I do. It’s my main sexual kink. I like to dominate the people I have sex with, if they like being dominated.”

“Oh.” That actually made a lot of sense. Mitchell was a quietly in-control kind of guy. Sam, though? “I’m not really the dominant type,” Sam said. At Mitchell’s raised eyebrow, he explained. “I’m in control at work. I like order and structure. But it’s not like I like being bossy or something.”

“See, I do like being bossy, but that’s just my personality. The way you are in the sack and the way you are in the rest of your life don’t have to overlap with each other.” Mitchell shrugged. He pursed his lips and then sighed. “Sam. Lots of people discover things about themselves in their thirties. It’s common. Just a few months ago, I realized I was in love with two people.”