Page 168 of Sour Notes

Their jaws drop and they stare at each other for a beat before looking back at me.

“Bullshit,” they shout at the same time.

See, told you they could be brothers.

“We weren’t. It was only supposed to be a fake thing to get through this trip. Moral support so I didn’t face the toad alone.”

“Mia, we’re twins. I know you’re lying. You can’t hide things from me. You weren’t faking shit these last two weeks. I’d bet my life on it.” He crosses his arms, a stubborn set to his jaw, but his eyes look devastated.

“I might not have your weird twin voodoo, but I do have eyes, Mia. I know love when I see it. Trust me, you can’t fake the real deal. What you two have… God, I wish I had something that real in my life.” Mario shakes his head sadly, a dark curl falling onto his face.

“It was fake… but I guess somewhere between the airport and goat yoga, I forgot to pretend and started to believe our lie instead. It doesn’t matter now anyway. He’s gone.”

“Mimi, it does matter. Of course it matters. You can fix it.” Nick grabs my hand in his.

I shake my head, eyes dropping to Swayze’s jacket again.

“Mia. Do you love him?” Mario’s voice is quiet. Measured.

“No. I’m too broken to love anyone.” My voice cracks on the words I force out of my mouth.

“Love doesn’t care if you’re broken, Mia. It finds a way to seep around all those broken pieces and force you to feel it anyway.”

My eyes connect with Mario’s and I can see something bubbling under the surface. Something he’s not telling me.

“You love Nick, don’t you?” he continues.

I nod.

“You love me, I hope?” His lips tip up in a smile.

I nod again.

“You love your friends back home, right? Pinky and the rest of your band of merry men?” Mario smiles wider.

I let out a sob laugh before nodding.

“So why are you so sure you don’t love Swayze?” Nick asks quietly.

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. It just is, okay? I can’t love him.”

“Can’t or don’t? Those are very different words, Mimi.” Mario prods.

“Can’t.”

“Well just because you say you can’t, doesn’t mean you don’t. Baby, look at yourself right now. You’re wearing his T-shirt, white-knuckling his jacket. You haven’t let it go since we got here.” Mario covers my hand with his.

“Why are you so quick to push him away? It’s not going to make you love him any less, watching him from afar. You can hide behind the painted smiles, the jokes, and the sarcasm, but you and me, Mia, we’re the same…” he squeezes my hand in his.

“We’re showmen. We don’t want the world to see the face beneath the makeup because we’re scared it won’t love the real us. The person who isn’t perfect every second of every day, who has baggage, or wants something they’re too scared to ask for. So we act. We joke, we work, we carry on. But baby, you know where you and I are different?”

Shaking my head, I hold his gaze.

“You found your person. The man who’s seen you without your battle paint on and didn’t shy away. Who wasn’t afraid to stand by your side and push you out of your comfort zone while simultaneously letting you lead. He proved that time and time again on this trip. I didn’t see a man faking love. I saw a man so head over heels for his girl that he’d go to war with the world if it meant he’d keep her safe. I don’t even know the guy well and that slapped me right in the face.”