Page 21 of Sour Notes

“Mmm donut holes…” I use my best Homer Simpson voice, promptly cramming two in my mouth. We don’t stand on ceremony here.

“You like?” Haven smirks at our reactions, which are probably a little too indecent for the diner on a Saturday morning, but I don’t even care. When life’s a catastrophe, I’m choosing calories.

“I’m calling them my cinnamon alphaholes, for obvious reasons. And they come in handy for shoving in my cinnamon alphahole’s mouth when he wakes up choosing violence like a big baby.” She rolls her eyes, and we collapse into giggles before she reaches over to close the box.

“Sooo, anyway, what’s Swayze done this time? Tell us before the boys get here.” A subtle smirk tugs at her lips as she sits back, arching a brow.

“Shhh, not so loud. I don’t want the entire diner to hear, but if I don’t get it off my chest, I’m going to burst.” The girls crane their necks, looking at me wide-eyed. They couldn’t look any more eager if they tried.

“What? Tell usssssss,” Kim hisses.

“I didn’t leave the bar last night with a headache. I left because I met someone outside, and, uhh, well… we fucked. It was crazy hot, and I left patting myself on the back for nailing the one wild night directive I’d set for myself.”

“Fuck yeah!” Kim fist bumps the air before hurriedly shuffling back down on the bench, a blush coloring her cheeks. “Sorry, sorry, indoor voice got it.” She flashes me a contrite smile and motions for me to continue.

“I mean, Kim has it right. You go with your bad self, girl. That’s super fucking hot. So what happened? Did Swayze get home and interrupt you or some shit?”

“Nope.” Their eyebrows crawl up their foreheads, waiting for me to continue. “He’s the one who fucked me.”

They both squeal and slam their hands over their mouths.

“He did what?” Haven hisses across the table.

“The fucker came up behind me, didn’t say a word, and I let him fuck me—thinking he was a stranger.”

“What the ever-loving fuck?! But, why would he do that? Like totally out of the blue? I feel like we’re missing something,” Kim searches my eyes.

Clever girl.

“Well, you kinda are. So remember that night Haven made out with Axel at Jett’s that first time?”

Kim’s eyes go wide in realization, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. “Lap Dance Gate? As if I could forget. I went home and fucked Jack’s brains out all night, that shit was hot. He still talks about it.”

“Jesus Kim, TMI.” Haven slaps her arm, laughing.

“Ha, yeah, that’s the one. Well put it this way, you weren't the only one hot and bothered that night. Apparently Swayze and I were so drunk, we thought it was a good idea to work off the horn together with a quick fuck in the restroom.”

“OH MY GOD! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!” Kim practically shouts across the table.

So much for the indoor voice.

Haven tilts her head. “Why didn’t you tell us before?”

“I was trying to pretend it never happened, but he made it really fucking awkward. Asked me out mid-fuck, then started spouting bullshit about the sex ban in the group chat. I didn’t want to make it a huge ass thing.”

She smirks triumphantly. “It all makes sense now, the tension between the two of you has been intense. Now we know it’s because you did the horizontal mamba. Not once but twice.”

“I’ll just point out we weren’t horizontal either time.” I cross my arms over my chest, as if I’ve got some high ground in my hot mess of a life right now.

“Semantics.” She waves her hand dismissively. “So, you obviously have chemistry. Why don’t you want to go on a date? See if it could be something more?”

Kim nods in agreement.

Have these two gone totally insane? Don’t they know me at all?

“I am not dating Deputy Heartthrob. Don’t you guys remember what happened to me last time I took a chance on dating a freakin’ playboy?” I slam my laptop shut and shove it away in frustration. “He cheated with half the fucking state before knocking up my cousin. I’m never doing that again. If we took that risk and it all blew up, imagine how disastrous it would be between all of us and our families too.” Glaring pointedly at them, I drag my laptop back toward me.

Shit… it was autosaving right?