Page 134 of The Examiner

Jonathan Danners

Cameron’s coming? Has he said for definite?

Gela Nathaniel

Yes. He’s feeling much better. I’ve kept my part of the deal. This is the most important part of yours: the examination.

Alyson Lang

I’ll do my best.

To: Jemisha Badhuri

From: Central St Martins College of Art

Date: 10 May 2024

Subject: Re: Employer enquiry re a former student

Dear Ms Badhuri,

Thank you for your email. I have checked our records and I’m delighted to confirm that yes, Alyson Lang graduated in 2006 from our Bachelor of Arts course with a First-Class Honours degree in Fine Art.

Yours sincerely,

Uzma Mira

Doodle message group MMAM(FTP), 14 May 2024:

Jem Badhuri

How is everyone getting along with Assignment Six?

Ludya Parak

Too busy with the multimedia presentation. I’ll get an extension. She can’t expect us to focus on the final project *and* these shitty assignments.

Jem Badhuri

In the real world we’ll have to juggle different projects with clashing deadlines. Professional creatives often don’t have the luxury of time. Life is all about managing expectations. Your own and others’.

Ludya Parak

Thanks for the lecture – seeing as you don’t live in the real world and know fuck-all about life.

Jem Badhuri

I know a lot about life actually.

Ludya Parak

Yeah, the view from your ivory tower.

Ludya Parak

Sorry. But until you’ve been awake all night while two kids vomit their guts up, then done your paid work from 4 a.m. until 2 p.m., when you have to start your UNPAID coursework, all while making food and screaming at the fuckers to keep quiet, when you know they’re only rowdy because you haven’t had time to take them out all day, while your mum who doesn’t speak much English is vague about the results of her scan, all while trying to find another flat because the landlord wants to sell your home. Then you can tell me about life.

Alyson Lang