Page 165 of The Silent Appeal

There was something else at the sleep out that sent me into a dive. I got home Sunday morning and emptied my bag out, only to find a friendship bracelet at the bottom. The children were making them at the craft table, but the beads spelled out “love issy” so there was no mystery as to who put it there. I can’t let her get attached to me again, especially as she’s a very dogged “watcher” and would soon spot that I was slipping out of rehearsals to meet someone. Anyway, fixations aren’t good for her and her former case lead ought to be aware.

Luckily her old social worker is an acquaintance who will email Issy about it. She suggested I give the bracelet to her so she can return it, so I drove round and dropped it off. By the time I’d sorted that out it was time to start getting ready for work.

Have you mentioned sending the girls to their grandparents while you speak to Elizabeth? I know she’ll be upset, but she’ll come to terms with it. She must have noticed the increasing distance between you. Would divorce be such a problem? I’ve been reading every internet forum there is on the subject and it’s allowed. People all over the world have made our situation work. I know we can.

Josh, what I feel for you is different to anything I’ve ever felt for anyone else before. It’s powerful and all-consuming. Beyond a crush or infatuation. This is love and I believe love conquers everything. When we met in the lane last night everything else fell away, as if I shrugged off a heavy cloak, and there was just you and me in the whole world. Thinking about it now makes me feel warm and peaceful.

I’ll slip into the church during our rehearsal break tonight, as usual, but will you be able to get round to mine this week? From tomorrow I’ll be in every night in case you can escape at the last minute. Love you xx

To: Fran Elroy-Jones

From: Rev. Josh Harries

Date: April 28, 2025

Subject: Re: Fairway Players

Dearest Fran,

Sorry. I couldn’t reply until now. Good idea to keep things bland just in case. I struggled so much to keep my tears at bay while you were singing. Your voice is beautiful, and I kept thinking of us both defying gravity together, against all the odds.

Divorce in my situation is allowed, but would be a huge problem, particularly because the fault would be mine. If Elizabeth were to leave me for someone else, that would be different, but if I were to leave her for you, I’d have to resign and that would mean Lizzie and the girls would lose their breadwinner.

The fact we’ve not had a “proper” marital relationship for several years is neither here nor there in the eyes of the church. I’m afraid we must keep things as they are for the time being, or end it, which I feel wholly unable to do. When I mentioned in my sermon the enduring power of love to bring light to every dark corner of the world, I was talking about my world and the light you bring to every part of it. I tried to look at you as I said it—did you notice?

I’m sorry you’ve had trouble with Issy, although passing you a friendship bracelet is harmless, isn’t it? You can have compassion for her predicament, without encouraging her. Returning the gift and reporting her to a social worker seems rather harsh, but you know what’s best.

Unfortunately, I must counsel you against swapping flats with your poor friends. My darling, you are so selfless, but we could never be together if you were living on the Grange estate. Elizabeth volunteers at the food bank twice a week and is on the community hall committee. We know so many people who live there. It would be impossible.

We are in a situation of horrible impasse. We can’t ignore our feelings—goodness knows, we’ve tried! But we can only be together because no one knows about us. Unfortunately, that’s the way it must stay until we work things out. Love xx

Undated page from a decorative journal belonging to Isabel Beck:

TODAY IS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY

Monday is the best day of the week for me! (Even though I have to work all day.) I’m meeting Nicky-Rose for an iced coffee before rehearsal tonight and then there’s the rehearsal itself to look forward to. The trouble is, it goes by in a flash and then there’s a WHOLE WEEK before next Monday.

Last night I finally opened the bag of crafting things Denise gave me. It contains the following:

Glue, scissors, a plastic stick.

Colorful paper shapes: bells, white roses, and gold rings.

Sticky tape with a white lacy design on it.

Gold and silver ribbon.

White and silver beads.

Silver “for the two of you” and “celebrate” stickers.

I think Denise’s daughter may have bought these to make wedding things. I’m sure I can mix them up and make them less wedding-y.

* * *

It’s later on “today” since I wrote the above, and now I’m feeling just as bad as I did yesterday. Why did Fran have to tell tales on me to Mardien? It’s not as if she’s Miss Perfect herself! She’s having a fling with a married vicar, which is a LOT worse than making a friendship bracelet for someone.

But more than that, how did the bracelet I put in Nicky-Rose’s bag get into Fran’s bag? Has someone seen that we’re getting friendly and switched it out of jealousy? Did they want to get me into trouble with Fran? I should look on the positive side: the mystery is solved and I’ll soon get the bracelet back so I can give it to Nicky-Rose properly.