Page 150 of Pretender

He steps closer while scanning the room.

“It’s my pleasure. This house is already marvellous, I just added thousands of flowers.”

“You are really something,” he says, and all I want to do is fling myself into his arms and stay there forever. I hope we can talk more. How do we get past this awkwardness?

Actually…

“Can I show you the garden?” I ask angling myself towards the exit. “And I wanted to tell you something I didn’t yesterday.”

“Of course,” he answers, and we stroll next to each other down the steps, through the floral arrangements.

“Umm…” I start, glancing up at the arches and how the sun coming up over the hedge shines through the leaves. “Henry came to my house the other day.”

Aiden stops. “What? Are you okay?”

I stop him asking more with a twitch of my hand.

“He was asking for help, but of course I turned him down. You may have seen the blog, apparently he’d asked Mr Sinclair for help and it blew up in his face. Anyway, he got angry and left me with a comment that’s been festering in me.”

I pinch my eyes shut, hoping I won’t cry while I tell him this. Despite my mascara being waterproof, I don’t want to test it before the inevitable wedding-speech-induced tears later tonight.

“You’ve noticed I’m not happy talking about my parents—I know you have, because you moved the conversation over to my grandfather at the brunch.”

“Yes.”

Opening my eyes, again, I look straight at Aiden. “My mum never wanted to be a mother, and she’s not engaged or interested in my life. Never was. Dad isn’t as distant, but he always chose his career first. Ever since I was little, I was convinced I had to work hard to deserve their love because I’d inflicted myself upon them.” I shake my head when Aiden opens his mouth to protest. “I know, it’s not a child’s fault. But it’s hard to shake something so ingrained in you.”

“At the start of our relationship, Henry made me feel like I was the only person in any room. He was this older, handsome gentleman, and he chose me. But when it got harder, when it required work, as relationships often do, instead of standing up for myself and what I deserve, I fell back into that old pattern of doing whatever I could for him to love me. I kept grating away at myself and he kept taking. When he came to my house this week, he said it again. That it was so hard to love me, and that even my parents couldn’t be bothered to try.”

“Jesus Christ,” Aiden breathes.

“It is what it is, but I just wanted to share that with you because it’s so important for me to not do that again.”

He nods, eyes locked on mine, his jaw flexing. “Henry is done.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about Henry, Aiden. Seriously. He’s a sad bully.”

“You’re a bigger person than me.”

“It’s not about him. But you need to appreciate that I expect more from you. I want you to expect more from me. Like you did in the park when you asked why I relent in a discussion.”

“Thank you for sharing about your parents,” he says, eyes still focused on mine. “I’m sorry they made you feel like that.”

“Yeah. At least I had my grandfather, so I didn’t turn into a complete psychopath.”

He laughs, his beautiful face breaking into that wide, uncontainable smile.

“I wish I’d met him,” Aiden says. “What was his name?”

“Erik.”

Aiden nods, and as other guests start trickling into the room on top of the stairs, we leave it there for now.

The day has gone fast. The ceremony was gorgeous, but the most beautiful sight of the day is Amara in her cream lace wedding dress. Will cried so hard when she appeared at the top of the stairs, and he could hardly get his vows out. But we got there in the end.

Amara’s brought her sunshine all day. I don’t think her smile dropped for a second since she walked through those garden doors, and we’ve all been smiling with her.

Will and Amara are seated at a long table at the top of the room. Will’s brother and his wife are on Will’s side, and Aunt Giulia and Aiden on Amara’s side. I was originally seated next to Aiden but I ‘accidentally’ decorated the bride and groom’s chair with so many flowers they couldn’t fit that extra guest chair in anymore, so I had the wedding planner squeeze me in on the round table in front.