Page 65 of Passion and Privilege

I hesitated, uncertain whether I wanted to talk about my issues. “Catherine happened.”

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“Something unexpected happened between us,” I told him. “Something I didn’t plan for. It’s left me feeling lost.”

Bennet leaned forward. “Tell me what’s going on.”

I sighed. My gaze fixed on the polished floor that I knew she had spent time working on. Every damn room in the house was a reminder of her. She had touched everything. “I didn’t come here to fall in love. I came to restore this place, to preserve my family’s legacy, and maybe grow old and decrepit here alone. But Catherine, dammit, she changed everything.”

Bennet chuckled, dismissing my proclamation. “You’re being overly dramatic, my friend. Love happens when you least expect it. Maybe it’s time to lay it all out there for her. Talk to Catherine. See what she wants.”

“You don’t understand. I don’t want to be in love. I don’t want to love anyone ever again.”

Bennet remained silent for a moment, studying my face. “You’re scared,” he finally said, his voice soft.

“No, I’m not scared,” I lied, feeling my pride rise up to protect me. “I’m being practical.”

“Practical?” Bennet echoed. “Preventing yourself from loving someone because you’re avoiding potential hurt is not being practical. That’s letting fear rule your life.”

“I thought I loved Regina,” I said. “You know how that turned out.”

“Regina and Catherine are two different people, Tim. And you are not the same man you were then.”

My history with Regina had left such a bitter taste in my mouth that I was convinced I would rather endure loneliness than risk heartbreak again. I didn’t trust myself to choose the right woman. I didn’t think I could survive another relationship crashing and burning like the one with Regina. That had nearly killed me.

“I am the same man, Bennet. Just a little wiser. I don’t trust easily. Once you’ve been burned as badly as I have, you don’t recover from that. It strips away a piece of your soul.”

He shook his head, clearly unimpressed with my attempt at self-pity. “We all change, Tim. You’ve changed since coming here. I’ve seen the change in you. It’s a good change. You’re not as angry and bitter as you were. This place has been good for you. Catherine has been good for you. I think you need to talk to her.”

I shook my head, a heavy sigh escaping my lips. “It’s too late for that. Catherine packed up her things, and her work on the house is done. She’s moving on.”

Bennet studied me for a moment. “Tim, nothing is ever too late. If you care about her, go after her. Lay it all out there. It might not be the end you think it is. Tell her you’ve got some reservations. From what I understand, she’s probably the one woman in this area that can understand why you might be struggling to jump in with both feet.”

“What if she doesn’t feel the same way?” I asked. The thought of rejection, of her not wanting me the way I wanted her, was too much to bear.

“So what?” Bennet said with a shrug. “You’ll never know if you don’t try. And isn’t it better to try and fail than to wonder what could have been?”

His words echoed through the quiet room, stinging me with their truth. I knew he was right. I needed to talk to Catherine, to tell her how I felt. But the fear of being vulnerable was holding me back.

“Maybe you’re right, Bennet. Maybe I should talk to her.”

Bennet grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “That’s the spirit. Now, go get your woman.”

“I’m not sure about that,” I said. “I have another girl I need to talk to. Have you seen Paisley? I thought she said she was going to be swimming today, but I didn’t see her in the pool.”

He shook his head. “That’s where I saw her last. The walls aren’t vibrating with some chick singing about an ex-boyfriend, so either she’s watching TV in the second floor sitting room or taking a walk in the gardens.”

I smiled. “It’s hard to believe one of those little speakers can put out so much noise.”

“And lucky for us, she has two hundred and eighteen of those speakers,” he said sarcastically.

“Lighten up, Bennet. You were a teenager once.”

“A quiet teenager,” he retorted.

The door to Paisley’s room was closed. I knocked and waited. There was no response. A sigh escaped my lips, and I decided to take a chance and risk her screaming at me for violating her privacy. “Paisley?”

“Go away,” she called out.