Page 16 of I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life

A small step in taking back my life. A small step towards becoming who I actually wanted to be.

“Uncle Jack never apologized, did he?” Cassidy asked, and I noticed Kameron deflating at his daughter’s perceptiveness. It seemed like he’d been trying to protect her from Jack’s less savory qualities too.

“He didn’t,” I said, shaking my head no, “but I’m over it.” Maybe lying to a child wasn’t the best way to get my point across, because I most certainly wasn’t over it. But it was clear she actually liked Jack, or didn’t know him well enough to realize liking him wasn’t in her best interest.

However, I took this opportunity to get everyone started for the day. The last thing I wanted was the ghost of Jack summoned to Briar Hill — I'd just gotten used to Kameron being here.

Jack appearing would be the kind of omen my life was about to be upended, and he’d come out on top. Every. Single. Time.

Chapter twelve

Kameron

“Uncle Jack wants to talk to you!” Cassidy announced as she shoved my phone in my hands, which was impressive considering I was kneading pizza dough. It stuck to my phone as I attempted to turn it to speaker with my elbow.

“Jack, hi,” I said, attempting to clean the screen, which only caused the dough smudge to get worse. “What’s up?”

“What did you do to my niece?” my twin asked before I realized I’d accidentally turned it into a video call and his image was covered in dough, giving his annoyed expression a weird distortion. “She’s been in Briar Hill for like two months, and now she’s a giant nerd? And lecturing me on how I need to apologize to Nalini?”

“You do need to apologize to Nalini,” I bluntly said, and I watched my brother blink in surprise. I’d been working hard with my therapist lately about how not to slip back into enabling Jack, and this was the first time I think he noticed. “What you did, what all three of us did, was messed up. It’s literally the least you could do.”

“I don’t see the big deal or why she still cares; it’s just a song,” Jack insisted, rolling his eyes, “and…”

“It’s not just a song to her,” I interrupted. Every single part of me practically screamed I needed to stop and apologize, to keep the peace before Jack started spiraling. “Considering you named her very publicly, it ruined her life.”

“Wow, she’s still as dramatic as I remember,” Jack muttered, and I debated hanging up on him. In fact, if my hands weren’t covered in pizza dough, I probably would’ve. “But it was forever ago; she should be over it by now.”

“What do you want, Jack?” I asked, annoyed I wasn’t getting through to him. And I had to continue this phone call. And that once again, my brother was living in a world where his actions didn’t have consequences.

“I wanted to see how the new RaineFall songs were going,” Jack said, and I blinked in surprise. The last time he called, I’d point-blank told him I was still debating whether or not the band should come back. And I certainly hadn’t written anything since then.

“They aren’t,” I stated. “My answer hasn’t changed. I’m still thinking about it. I don’t even have anything to write about. Unless you want me to write about grief, but I doubt that’s the vibe you’re looking for.”

“You don’t know that,” Jack scoffed.

“Doesn’t matter, Julia’s death is not for public consumption, so even if I did write a song about it, it wouldn’t be released,” I snapped, my grip on the dough so tight I worried I'd started to over-knead it. “I’m still working through it, Jack. Moving was good for me; it’s a fresh start. But some things happened over the past couple of weeks that have been hard. So before you say anything… No, I don’t have rockstar money anymore. Yes, I moved Cassidy to a place you hate because of it. But despite everything, can you at least accept the fresh start was what we both needed?”

“Oh,” was all Jack could say, “I just… I know I acted like bringing back the band was about the money. And I’m not saying you should be over it, because I don’t even know how you get over something like what happened with Julia. I thought you could use a distraction… and I thought maybe bringing RaineFall back could be a distraction from both our lives falling apart. Saying that felt rude.”

“And calling me poor wasn’t rude?” I deadpanned, and Jack shrugged through the phone, “I’m not going to upend my entire life for a distraction, Jack. I’ve been a stay-at-home dad since the band broke up. Julia loved her career, and I loved staying home to cook and clean. I still do; I find it relaxing to have a set schedule and to-do list every day. Cassidy’s made a lot of friends who are good for her. I’ve seen her smile more than I have in years, even before Julia got sick. And with RaineFall, I have to think about her too. I don’t think I can justify turning her world upside down again, not after we’ve finally gotten to the point she’s doing okay.”

“So… you’re saying no?” Jack asked, a weight behind his question I couldn’t quite interpret. Something about bringing back RaineFall he wasn’t saying, something that made me pause. He’d mentioned he wanted a distraction, and I’d assumed it was because of his divorce. But if there was something else, getting Jack to talk about it would be nearly impossible.

I knew I should say no. I knew everything had a good chance of going wrong again. I knew this was the perfect opening to put it to bed once and for all. But something was stopping me, something I didn’t have the words for yet.

“I’m saying, I still need time to think,” I sighed, figuring it was the best answer I could give until I figured out exactly what was keeping me from shutting down Jack’s idea. “And Cassidy needs some stability. So, if we can find a way to bring back RaineFall while still giving her that, I’ll consider it. But in the meantime, I still need to work through some stuff. Okay?”

“Fine,” Jack grumbled, though I could tell he wasn’t going to let this go easily, “I’m emailing you a couple more songs; look them over and tell me what you think.” He hung up the moment my hands were clean, which was probably for the best.

“Why’s Uncle Jack so angry?” Cassidy asked as I finished drying them off, and I jumped at the sudden sound. Apparently, she'd come in without me realizing it.

“What do you mean?” I asked, putting the now covered bowl of dough in a warm corner of the kitchen so it could rise.

“Well… he and Aunt Stef broke up,” she started, which was an understatement. Jack said there were irreconcilable differences, but from the way they’d attacked each other in the tabloids since the breakup, it was clear there was something Jack hadn’t told us. “He keeps getting angry at everyone. He doesn’t want to hear my dragon stories, and he’s being mean about Nalini.”

“I don’t know, he won’t tell me,” I answered honestly, “And if I asked him what was going on, he'd lie and say he’s fine. He likes to pretend he’s fine even when he’s not.”

“Dr. Hannah would not approve,” Cassidy said, sounding almost like she was instructing him even though Jack wasn’t here.