Page 69 of Buzzer Beater

I pulled my hands away. “It’s not that. I just don’t want to put anyone else through this. These conditions are hard to manage. I struggle with anxiety and depression as well. I can’t handle the thought of dragging someone as great as Colin through this too.”

She shook her head and stood up. “I’m surprised you think that little of him.” She picked up her bag and headed for the door. “I’m sorry for what you have to go through. I really am. If you ever want to talk about, even when we’re back home you can always call me. But I can’t talk to you about it anymore right now. You really need to trust Colin enough to tell him. Let him make the decision of what he wants and what he can handle.”

She shut the door behind her. The silence in the room felt suffocating. I never expected her to react that way. I thought she’d be more sympathetic. I was saving Colin from this. I couldn’t give him the one thing he wanted. A fundamental part of being a woman, a wife, and I was defective.

I fell back on the bed and let a tear slip out. This was so hard.

I let out a shaky breath, fighting to keep my composure. I didn't want to lose it now. The last thing I needed was to spend the last day here crying. I forced myself to get up and change into my suit. My tummy-control one-piece.

I wanted to throw it away, but this was my reality.

I wasn’t the woman I was in college. I was flawed. I had problems, plenty of them. I changed and pulled on a dress before grabbing my bag and heading out.

The path only had a handful of fellow resort guests, allowing me space to think.

Did I really think I wasn’t good enough? Was I sabotaging myself on purpose? Sure, I had insecurities and recognized I wasn’t as beautiful or thin as other women, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t good enough. Right?

Colin cared about me. I knew that much. Maybe I should let him decide what he could handle.

“Lucy!”

I turned to see Kendall and Colby approaching.

“Hey.”

Colby carried an armful of beach towels. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not really sure. I haven’t decided.”

Kendall grinned. “Then come with us.”

I didn’t bother asking where they were going. I was just grateful to not have to think. “Okay.”

We headed past the pools, parallel to the beach. Did they know of a secret spot? I was about to ask when I looked beyond to the aquatic center where they housed the dolphins. They had sessions you could buy to swim with them.

“Are you guys going there?” I asked.

Colby turned. “We all are.”

I smiled and shook my head. After the sharks yesterday, dolphins seemed easy. “Okay.”

We walked through and were led to a waiting area. I looked around. “Where’s everyone else?”

Kendall plopped down on a bench. Colby sat beside her. “It’s just us.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Colby giggled. “As shocking as it may be, we do actually separate occasionally.”

I finally relaxed. “No one else wanted to do this?”

Kendall shrugged. “We asked the other girls, but Emma can’t, Madeline said something about animal rights, and Chloe’s leading the guys through their training.”

“What?”

Colby blew out a breath. “That girl’s insane. She’s making them do one of her normal workouts. Last time she did this, three of the guys threw up and one didn’t finish.”

That didn’t surprise me. “Of course.”