Page 29 of Drop Pass

She rubbed my shoulders and I gave in and met her gaze. “I doubt he thinks you’re dumb or helpless.”

I forced a smile at her well-meaning words, but Addi didn’t know me very well. She knew what the other women had told her about me, and even they didn’t know me. They knew the version of me I wanted them to know. I wanted to be the image of a strong, professional woman. Inside, I was insecure and waiting for the next shoe to drop.

The way the Pride supported and loved each other was something I desperately wanted to be part of. They’d let me into the fold despite not being connected to the team and I was grateful every day for that.

But part of me was waiting for them to realize I was faking my way through life. I was hiding behind a facade. I made sure my exterior was as perfect as possible so no one looked too hard at what was underneath.

The Pride had a way of digging in, refusing to let go. They broke through barriers, getting to the heart of a person. I watched it happen with Elena in Mexico. They’re a force when they’re together and have a mission.

I wanted to be a part of that as much as I didn’t want them to break through me.

It wasn’t fair and I knew they wouldn’t let it happen. Addi’s kind smile told me that. If I wanted to be part of the group, I had to pay my dues. They were more than willing to support me, they’d proven that, but I needed to let them.

“So, what do you think I should do?”

Her grin grew and she held up a finger. “I have the perfect idea.”

She pulled out her phone and typed something before waiting. Less than thirty seconds later, she looked up at me. “There’s a Russian bakery down the street. Bring him some medovik. He told Colin it’s his favorite, but he hasn’t had time to visit the bakery.”

I nodded. “I can do that.”

“Good luck.”

After paying, I hurried across town to the Russian bakery and picked up a large slice of the flakey, honey-flavored cake. It looked delicious and I almost bought a piece for myself, but refrained. Old habits of worrying about my weight and how I would look on camera were hard to break.

By the time I exited the elevator on our floor my hands were shaking. It was ridiculous. I was merely dropping off some desert. A quick thank you for saving my life … again, and I could head home to hide.

I knocked on his door and waited. Addi told me practice was over, so he should be home unless he had something else to do.

There was silence.

I looked down at the brown box and debated leaving it at the door with a note, or trying again later.

One was the easier, cowardly thing to do but the other meant anxiety all afternoon.

The door swung open while I was debated and I stepped back out of surprise. “Oh.”

Nikolay looked confused. “Elena?”

I smiled and extended the box to him. “I got you medovik.”

He looked at the box for a half-second before looking back at me. “You’re different.”

It took me a moment to realize what he meant. “Oh right. I colored my hair.”

“Why?”

His blunt question threw me. “I...umm...I wanted a change.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Why?”

I wasn’t ready for this inquisition. I just wanted him to take the stupid box I was still holding out. “I had to keep it blonde at my last job, and I was sick of being called a blonde weather bimbo.”

I wasn’t sure why I told him that, but I hoped it would satisfy his curiosity.

“You’re not a bimbo?”

I cocked my head. “What?”