Page 44 of Drop Pass

I looked to Olli who looked exhausted after only one period. Coach was right, we needed to step it up.

“I want to see more shots from all of you and half as many for them. Don’t even give them the chance.” Coach leveled us with his signature glare. “And Murray, if you get one more penalty in this game, I’m benching you.”

Reese looked a bit guilty and I wanted to ask him what his deal was. He was one of our more aggressive players, but he was in the sin bin twice last period. That alone was what gave the Gulls so many opportunities. We were shorthanded on the ice because he was sitting in the penalty box for four minutes.

“Let’s get out there and remind them who they’re up against. Start playing like the Fury.”

Hartman stepped forward and led us in our team chant then we headed back to the ice. Elena was standing in the hall with Chloe, smiling and telling the guys good luck. When her eyes met mine, her smile dimmed and she nodded just barely before moving on to whoever was behind me.

It stung more than I’d ever admit.

I had the chance to be friends with her and ruined that. I had her in my arms, kissing her, and I ruined that, too. She had every reason to hate me. I just wished I could explain the jumbled mess that was taking over my brain. I wanted someone to talk to. Someone to help me sort it out. I tried with her, and she listened to me, but then I was a total idiot and pushed her away.

I had to fix it. I couldn’t see her every day and know she hated me. I’d explain that all I could offer her right now was friendship and maybe she’d understand. Maybe that would be enough.

* * *

Even though I lived in this building, I still felt like an intruder. I’d waited outside my apartment for over fifteen minutes. Elena still hadn’t come home. I figured she might have things to do at her office before she could come home, but it was nearing eleven.

Another ten minutes passed before the elevator dinged and the doors opened. She stepped out, looking down at her phone and walked to her door without glancing up.

“Elena?” I cringed when she jumped and dropped her phone.

“Oh sorry.” I bent down and picked it up, handing it to her while she was standing still clutching her chest.

“You. Scared. Me.” She bit out each word. I expected venom, but instead she just sounded tired.

“I’m sorry I thought you saw me.”

She shook her head. “No, I just got an email from my boss that I need to be on set at six am.”

“But you don’t work the weekends.”

She nodded as her shoulders fell. “The weekend weather person is out sick, so I’m covering tomorrow and someone else will take Sunday.”

“I’m sorry.” I knew I should let her go in and find another time to talk but I was too selfish. “I wanted to apologize, Elena. About last night—”

She held up a hand. “How about we agree to never bring that up again.”

I frowned. “That’s not…” I wasn’t in a position to tell her what I wanted. I needed to respect her wishes. “Fine. I just wanted to let you know that I really would like us to be friends, if you want.”

She blinked, and met my eyes through her lashes. “Nikolay…”

“I have a lot going on and I know you do too. What I can offer right now is friendship, which I would like very much. I know I could use more of that in my life.” One corner of her mouth tipped up. I was so close. “I want to be there for you.”

After a beat, her smile lit her face. “I could use a friend too.”

I wanted to touch her. It was the complete opposite of what I should do, but my hands moved before I could reign myself in. I ran my hand from her shoulder down past her elbow and held her hand for just a few seconds. “Thanks Elena.”

Heat rolled through my body. I wanted to pull her in and kiss her all over again. I wanted her to be closer.

I pushed those thoughts away. It didn’t matter what I wanted. I had to think of what was best and fair for her. The way her eyes darkened and the slight lean of her body toward mine almost pushed me over the edge.

“Nikolay?”

I bent my head down toward her. “Yeah?”

I stared at her lips, remembering how they felt against mine. How soft. How perfect.