Page 23 of Game Misconduct

“Why does anyone want to be friends with someone else? They like them and want to be around them. Everyone seems to really like you. You make people comfortable.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I’ve been the friend before. Most of my life, actually.”

How was I messing this up? It was like we were saying and hearing the same words but finding completely different meanings.

“I’m the one that men like enough to hang out with until someone better or prettier or more exciting comes along.”

My mouth dropped a bit. She thought I was going to use her and toss her away? Had that happened before?

I froze. That was what I was doing. I needed something from her, but I didn’t want her to think I was just going to leave her behind the second I didn’t she wasn’t useful. I couldn’t imagine what kind of person would do that to her.

“I promise, Vivi. That’s not what I’m trying to do––”

She interrupted me. “There’s always something that my so-called friend is after. So what is it?”

I shook my head. This wasn’t going how I had planned. I thought we’d laugh and joke as easily as she did with Mitch, or she might even be as eager to be friends as I was. “It’s just that I’m new here, and you’re kind of new to the group too. I thought we could be friends and navigate it together.”

She didn’t immediately say no which was a minor victory. “I’m not some tool to get into the group. You're already in on your own. You’re on the team.”

She was going to make me spell it out for her. I sat up straight and met her eyes. “I like you, Viv. You’re kind and thoughtful and very supportive of your friends. You’re funny and know how to put people at ease. Things are different here. The guys are different. I used to be fine on my own. I didn’t think I was missing out as long as I did my best and showed up for the team, but being around these guys and the Pride, I realized there’s more. I’m missing out on connections and experiences, and I don’t want to keep doing that.”

She let out a humorless laugh. “Exactly, so why me? You should be spending time with the guys. I’m not actually connected to the team.”

I sank into the couch. “Honestly. I’m not sure how to make that happen.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I don’t know how to make friends,” I admitted.

“You’re doing it now.” She waved her hand between us.

I dipped my chin to meet her eyes. “You’re different.”

Her gaze seemed to pierce into me. “How?”

“There isn’t pressure. I don’t have to worry about messing up and ostracizing myself from the team.”

She leaned back. “You don’t think there would be consequences for messing up with me?”

This woman was not giving me an inch of slack. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t know how to do this. I haven’t had a friend outside of hockey since I was fourteen.”

“So you’re practicing on me?”

“Maybe?” I winced.

She stared at the ceiling. “I don’t want to play that role for you.”

“What are you talking about?” It was like we were having two different conversations with very minimal overlap.

“I’m not here for your entertainment. I’m not the funny fat girl, sitting around, waiting for a crumb of attention before I jump up and roll over to beg for more.”

I was stunned. There were no words. Was this really what she thought of me? Of herself?

“Don’t deny it, Parker. I’ve been in this spot countless times before. I used to do it, too, but I’m not an insecure little girl anymore. I’m not going to allow myself to be used for your personal gain. Your friendship will end the second you get what you want, and I’ll end up forgotten or hurt.”

“I––No. Viv, that’s not at all what I meant.” I was struggling to find words to make her understand.

“Oh, really? Then how did you think this would play out?” Her eyes were pleading with mine to change her mind. To prove her wrong.