Page 44 of Game Misconduct

“He said he liked seeing his number.”

“On you,” she guessed.

“Yes, that might have been mentioned specifically.” I could feel my cheeks warming and tried to hide behind my mug.

She jabbed her finger in my face. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?” I asked in a bored tone even though I’d been dying to have this conversation with her since we said goodbye at the restaurant last night.

The few texts Kerry and I had exchanged over the weekend were mostly me assuring her I liked AJ and that Parker had really said he had a good time.

“You like him,” she said in a singsong voice.

“I don’t,” I protested while looking around for any eavesdroppers. We were alone, so I calmed a bit.

“You do. AJ and I were talking about it. He asked me right when we got in the car. He was all, ‘I thought you said they were just friends. It didn’t look that way to me.’” She raised her brows. “And I said I was just as surprised as him because, from everything you’ve said, you two are just friends but now we know that’s a load of rubbish.”

“We are just friends, Kerry.” I might as well have been shouting at a wall.

“I saw it the moment you guys walked in. You weren’t holding hands, but you were standing so close to each other. I could practically feel the sparks shooting off between you two.” She sighed. “And don’t get me started on the way he looks at you.”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to sound indignant, but I was curious now.

“His eyes sparkle when he looks at you. And he gets this tiny smile when you talk. It’s like the corners of his lips lift without him realizing it.”

That sounded so sweet. And romantic. And not at all like reality.

“Kerry, he is just my friend. I’m pretty sure that’s just how his face looks.”

She barked out a laugh. “Oh, no. Don’t try to talk yourself out of this. I know what I saw, and I’m not the only one. AJ will back me up. There is something between the two of you, whether or not you want to admit it.”

I didn’t.

She wasn’t wrong, at least she wasn’t wrong about me. I did feel something more than friendship toward Parker, especially after this weekend. He only told me a bit about how he grew up, but it made me understand him so much better. I could feel how important it was to him to have someone he could talk to, someone he could establish a relationship with. He needed to know there was someone who cared about him and knew him. I wanted to be that person more than anything.

And the spark she swore she saw? Yeah, I felt that anytime we were close.

It was like a rope tugging us together. When we were on the couch before Captain America started, I knew I couldn’t stand to sit there next to him, but just out of reach. I wouldn’t have been able to watch the movie, let alone retain any of it, and I knew he’d ask me questions when it was over. Did I use an incredibly lame excuse to share a blanket just so I could snuggle into him? Yes, I did. But it worked. He seemed to relax too. It only took a few minutes for him to relax against me, and I even used his arm as a pillow when I got tired halfway in. It was a very nice arm. Solid, but not so hard that it was uncomfortable. I gave it four well-deserved stars.

Being close to him, but not quite close enough, was like losing or forgetting your phone. It’s uncomfortable, distracting, and something you’d do pretty much anything to remedy as fast as possible.

I wanted to hug him when he was leaving but didn’t know if that was a step he was ready for. A cuddle of convenience was different from a direct, intentional contact. When he didn’t even pause after pulling on his coat before reaching for the door, I had my answer. He didn’t want a hug. Or anything more.

“I can’t,” I finally said.

“Why not?” She leaned forward, resting her elbow on the desk and putting her chin in her palm.

“Because,” I started and immediately ran out of words. How could I say this so she would understand? “Because we agreed to be friends.”

“So?”

I sighed. “Feeling anything else is going against the agreement.”

“Why is that a bad thing?” A small grin slipped from her lips before she caught herself.

“We’ve managed to actually open up to each other. We’re getting more comfortable and really starting a relationship. That’s big for him and for me. I don’t want to ruin this with feelings.” I whispered the last word.

“Why do you think that would ruin anything? Telling him how you feel might just deepen the relationship, make it better.”