Page 81 of Cheap Shot

I rolled my eyes. He joked about not finishing all the time, but I knew he wouldn’t actually let that happen. He’d worked too hard for too long to not graduate.

“We’ll see.” I scooped rice onto my plate, and he moved next to me, filling his plate.

“What’s that mean?”

I shrugged. I wasn’t sure I was ready to say out loud what I’d been thinking. I didn’t want him to get mad or tell our parents. Plus, I couldn’t figure out if my emotions and recent events were dictating my thoughts.

“Come on, you can tell me anything.” He jumped onto his bed and leaned back against the wall, facing me.

It was strange how quickly things had changed between us. Since we left the arena after speaking to the officers, he rarely left my side. It took two days for him to go to class and practice. I had to call Benjamin to ask him to help me convince Ethan it was okay to leave me.

Thanks to one traumatizing event, the past several weeks of tension and fighting washed away. We both realized we needed each other. He apologized for trying to control me, and his teammates. He admitted he didn’t grasp the gravity of how our parents treated me. He was so caught up in his own world that he never saw things the way I did. There were plenty of tears shed by both of us, but we hashed out things that had been left unsaid for far too many years.

Since then, he’d been a completely different person. Although, he still disappeared for hours at a time, and hadn’t told me why but he didn’t ignore me anymore. We were closer than we’d ever been, and part of me didn’t want to ruin that. Not yet.

“It’s nothing. Just something I’ve been thinking about.”

His brow quirked. “Well, now you have to tell me.”

I sighed and poked my fork at a piece of chicken. “I’m not sure college is right for me.”

His head shot back. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Is it because of what happened? They’re going to take care of Jay. You won’t have to worry about him.”

I shook my head. He was a contributing factor, but that wasn’t it.

“Is it because of what happened last year? I guess you haven’t exactly had the best experiences so far.”

“Maybe that’s a part of it, but it’s just the classes in general. I’m a sophomore, and I have no idea what I want to major in. I don’t love any subject in particular, and I don’t have the slightest idea of what I want to do with my life. I just feel like I’m wasting time and money.”

He nodded slowly. “I probably would have been the same way if I wasn’t here for hockey.”

“It’s like I’m only here for the college experience, and honestly that hasn’t been great for me. I’ve been thinking about either taking a year off or trying a trade school. Like maybe cosmetology or massage therapy.”

I waited for his judgment to come. To tell me that was a waste of the time I’d already put in, but he just nodded. “That might not be a bad idea. I could see you enjoying working with people like that.”

Relief washed over me. He didn’t yell or tell me it was a stupid idea.

“I’m not set on anything yet, I’ve just been thinking about it.”

“That’s fair. Can I ask one thing of you?”

I nodded.

“Just don’t make any decisions until everything with Jay is settled. I don’t want that to influence you. I want you to be able to have a clear head when you decide.”

“Okay,” I sighed. “That’s probably a good idea.”

He titled his head and smiled. “I’m proud of you. Not just for coming forward and pressing charges against him, but for doing what’s right for you. It’s easy to go through life following the path people expect of you, but that’s not always what’s best for you.”

I bit my lip. His words brought back the memory of my last conversation with Reid. The one I’d worked so hard to ignore for these past several days. What was best for us and what felt right were two different things.

“Hey? What are you thinking about?”

My eyes rose to meet his. “Reid and I agreed that it’s probably not the best timing for us to be together. He had a talk with the coaches that made him realize the same thing you told me. He has other priorities right now, and I would only be a distraction and drain on his time and energy. He mentioned that we could see how we feel after the season, and we could stay friends, but I’m not sure I can.”