Page 33 of Trick Play

I should have backed off. I should have asked him what was wrong. I knew him well enough to see the suffering in his eyes. I saw it, ignored it, then threw a punch just to add to the pain.

Score one for me. Yay. I kicked a man that was already down.

And it made me feel sick.

How could I be so cruel to someone I once loved so much?

He had his sister and teammates, but maybe he needed someone else. Someone removed from his everyday life. I should be someone he could turn to, but I’d built another wall to keep him away.

I climbed the stairs to my class and took my normal seat before rubbing my temples. I needed to do better. He was trying, and I was doing everything I could to make it harder for him. I didn’t need to go all in. I didn’t need to open up and make myself vulnerable, but I could at least meet him halfway.

My mind was set by the time I walked into History of Photography. He stared down at his desk and didn’t look up when I slid in next to him.

“Ethan?”

He sighed before lifting his eyes to mine.

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say anything. His expression didn’t change. He stared at me for several moments, then nodded. “Me too.”

There was a level of sincerity in his voice that went deeper than this moment. Was he trying to apologize for it all? For the past? Was that even possible? It was too much to dismiss with just two words.

Professor Clements started his lecture about the evolution from film to digital cameras, and I took a few notes while peering at Ethan from the corner of my eye.

He wrote down a few sentences, but his attention seemed elsewhere. I got mad at him the last time I didn’t think he was paying attention, but I couldn’t blame him, not when it was my fault.

As soon as Clements ended the class and gave us time to meet with our partners, I turned to him. “Do you want to meet up sometime today to discuss options?”

His brows creased. “Together?”

I almost laughed. “We can go to the library.”

“I spend enough time there,” he mumbled as he pulled out a notebook, and I realized it was a daily planner. He dragged his finger along the column for today. “I have practice at three, and two hours with my tutor after.”

There was a block of three hours that were open immediately after this class, so I gathered my courage. It was a huge step. A peace offering I wasn’t sure he deserved. Plus, I wasn’t positive I wanted him to know where I lived, but we had to find a way to work together, and that would require compromise.

“How about we go back to my place. I can make lunch, and we can eat while we work.”

His gaze narrowed. “Are you sure?”

I’d have to give Lauren a heads up, so if she came home early, she didn’t attack him. But other than that, I was strangely comfortable with this idea.

“Yeah, I live pretty close.”

He closed up his planner and laptop. “Sounds good.”

Good. It was happening. I waved my white flag, and although I could feel his suspicion, he wasn’t running away.

It felt more than a little strange walking him back to my apartment. This was somewhere free of any memories of us. I almost didn’t want to let him in, but this would only be my home until the end of the semester, so I wouldn’t have to live with any ghosts for too long if letting him back into my world went horribly wrong.

“This is nice. I’ve never really been over here,” he said as we climbed up to the third floor of my building.

“Yeah, it’s mostly grad students, but my roommate knew two of the girls that were leaving and snatched it up before anyone else had a chance.” I unlocked the door and stepped inside. I took in the light gray walls and simple black furniture as if through his eyes. It wasn’t anything spectacular. Nice for student housing, but nothing I’d ever pick out on my own.

“Beats the dorms,” he teased as he moved to the closest couch and sat.

“I have no idea how you’ve survived living there for so long. I barely lasted through freshman year.”