Page 58 of Enemy Games

I was tempted to go to the arena for more midnight practices. But I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. What if she was there? I would have to face her and get answers for all the questions in my head, and I wasn't sure I was ready for that reality yet.

I wasn't sure I was ready to hear her rejection, because deep in my gut, I knew that was what would come. As much as I hoped that wasn't the case, I had to be realistic.

Her holding on to me that night at the party hadn’t meant anything to her. I was just in the right place at the right time.

I rolled over and stared up the blank wall.

Why did I even care so much?

Why was I so concerned over what she wanted when I didn't want to be with anyone? I didn't want to bring someone else into my life right now. Not when there was so much at stake. I had to be on top of my game and not let in any distractions, no matter how much this particular distraction made me feel things I’d never felt before.

Plus, I didn't date.

That wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Dad might be a jerk and have some pretty messed-up ideas. But he was right about me not letting a woman distract me from what I wanted most and from my hockey goals.

Sure, fate might have brought me and Presley together, but maybe it was just to give us closure. To give me the chance to apologize and make things better and to see how wrong I'd been. Presley deserved my apology. But that didn't mean that there needed to be anything else between us.

It didn't mean our relationship had to change. I only had a few months left until graduation, and then I had no idea where I would be.

My future wasn't in my hands. I wasn't in a position to offer her anything. I didn't know if I would be living in the same country come fall. For all I knew, I could end up in Europe or Russia.

As part of me wanted to see what could be between us, it wasn't fair to either of us.

I sat up. What was I thinking? I never wanted a relationship, but my mind kept going down that same path. Thinking what if.

What if I let her in?

What if I took a chance on us? What was the worst thing that could happen?

There was a very real possibility that I would have to walk away from her in just a few months. I couldn't imagine hurting her again. So I wouldn't.

I’d resist letting these thoughts take over, so I had to accept there was only the chance for friendship. And that's all.

“What are you doing?” Benjamin's voice scared me, and I turned to see him sitting up and turning on his desk lamp.

“Sorry, I can't sleep. I didn't mean to wake you.”

“I can feel the tension coming from you. What's going on, man?” He rubbed his face before reaching for his glasses.

“I've been thinking.”

“About what?”

I didn't want to admit to him that I was thinking about Presley. Not after all of his warnings. Especially the threat he made on the bus ride home from Green Lake. He told me to stay away from her, from all the girls on the team, and reminded me where my head needed to be for the next few months.

He leaned over and turned on the lamp next to his bed. I wanted to lie, to tell him I was thinking about an upcoming game or scouts or anything but the truth. But he knew. He always did. He was too good of a friend.

“Presley.”

It wasn’t a question. I tried to hide my flinch at her name, but I wasn’t great at hiding my emotions.

“You need to let her go. For both of your sakes.”

“I know, but I can't stop thinking about her.”

He huffed and turned so his legs dropped off the side of the bed. “Well, if it’s going to continue to keep you up at night, and you're going to lose focus anyway, you might as well do something about it.”