Page 67 of Enemy Games

“What happened last night?” Benjamin asked before I could even set my bag down.

I got home fairly early last night, but I was in no mood for talking. I put on my headphones and fell asleep without saying anything. And Benjamin allowed it, because he knew I often needed time to process and that saying the first thing on my mind had gotten me in trouble in the past. I learned over the past few years to wait and give myself time and space to think before reacting.

“Yeah. How did last night go?” Reid asked.

I dropped onto a bench and tossed my water bottle between my hands.

“Oh man, that doesn't look like a good sign.” Ethan spoke from behind me. “Tell us what happened. It can't be as bad as you think it is.”

Or it could be worse. I rehashed the night. How perfect things had gone until we ran into Peter and his friends.

“It's like they can't let go of who I used to be. I haven't hung out with any of them since junior year. Yet they think I'm that same person.”

“Well, of course, they think you're still that guy. They haven't seen the person that you've become.” Benjamin lifted his weights and started bicep curls.

Something Pressley said the night before ran through my mind about us being stuck as the children's version of ourselves and not the adults we’d become. That was still true for the people around campus. It didn't matter that I made the effort to leave the party scene behind to refocus on my training and my team. All they knew was the guy who used to sneak out to go to parties he shouldn't be at and bent the rules he promised he would never break.

I wasn't that mad anymore though. It didn't matter what they thought. The only people who mattered were my teammates. And apparently Presley.

“Is she worth fighting for?” Ethan asked.

I slowly lifted my head and considered his question. Was she worth it? What was our goal here? I would be moving in a matter of months. I had no idea where I would end up. She would be here for at least another year. So where did that leave us? Were we living on borrowed time?

I didn't think that I wanted to have a long-distance relationship during the first year of my career, but I might be willing to change that for the right reasons.

So what was it about Presley that drew me in? I couldn't deny that she was beautiful. But that wasn't a reason to push the relationship. Did I just want to make up for what happened? Did I want to prove to her that I wasn't the cruel boy that I used to be? Or was there something more? I couldn't deny that when I was around her, I felt settled. I wasn't looking for the next thing. I wasn't anxious and worrying about other things that I could be doing, about training, or what I needed to do in preparation for our next game.

With her, I could be still.

But that wasn't enough to build a relationship off of. Was it because she was familiar, and I craved that in this time of my life when there was so much unknown?

“I don't know,” I finally admitted. “I've never felt this lost and confused before. I don't have a clear idea of what I want or where I'm going. And it's freaking me out. It's more confusing than I expected it to be. If it was just a matter of whether or not I wanted to spend more time with her—get to know the woman she is now and see where things could go between us—that would be a yes, no question. But it's not that simple. There's too much to consider. And I'm not sure if starting something with her right now is the best idea for either of us.”

“Well, look at you thinking about someone besides yourself.” Reid slow clapped. “You know that things between me and Haley weren’t easy.”

I rolled my eyes and glanced at Ethan as he scoffed. “Yeah, things weren't exactly simple for me and Kennedy either. But she was worth fighting for. It took me longer than I would like to admit to realize that, and I don't want you to make the same mistake. I don't want you to miss out on an opportunity just because it's not easy or ideal. If she's someone that you really want in your life, then you have to fight for her. Fight for the chance to get to know her. If it doesn't work out, then you can both move on with clarity rather than wondering what if.”

I dropped my head into my palms. “But what if it does work out? That’s what I was truly afraid of.”

“Then you have an amazing relationship and woman to support you through what might be the hardest year of your life.” The bench shifted as Reid sat next to me.

“I don't want to bring her into that mess. It's not fair. She should be focusing on her own career and finishing school, not being a soundboard to my issues.”

“Relationships aren’t all sunshine and rainbows.” Benjamin dropped his weights to the floor. “They're about being with the person you love and supporting one another through the ups and downs. The first year might be rough on you guys. But that's not to say that the next few wouldn't be amazing.”

I didn't expect Benjamin of all people to be the one pushing me toward this. The man was determined not to let a single distraction into his life.

Ethan exchanged the dumbbells for the next set before facing me. “Before you do anything, you really have to think about whether or not your feelings for her are strong enough to pursue a relationship. If you're just having fun, then that's fine. But if there's something more between you, you need to think about what that looks like before telling her. Your mind should be made up before you add any drama to her life.”

That was the entire point of my freak out. I knew that I didn't want to bring Presley into my life if I wasn't one hundred percent certain that there were real feelings there, beyond mutual attraction.

When I was with her, things felt easy. But was that something unique to her? Or me or us? Was that something that I could find with another person in a few years? Or was that something that should tell me that she and I were meant to be?

“If you decide that you want to pursue a relationship with her, I have a feeling you're going to be doing some groveling.” Reid nudged me with his elbow.

“I'm fine with that.”

“Women love grand gestures. You need to show her how special she is to you.” Ethan wagged his brows.