Page 91 of Wedding or Not

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? Because tonight has been a lot.” I gesture toward a mid-level chain hotel across the large road from the hospital lot. “We could get a room there.” Then, because I don’t want to be misunderstood, I add, “Just to sleep.”

He looks from me to the hotel and then back again. “Okay. That’s probably a good idea. You look like you’re about to drop, and I feel the same way.”

“Okay then. Let’s get a room.”

The hotel room is clean and generic with one large king-size bed.

I don’t care about the bed situation. As soon as we get up to the room, it feels like I can barely stay on my feet. So I go to the bathroom, wash my hands and face, take off everything except my panties and the camisole I wore beneath my top, and climb into bed.

Wes has been as quiet as he was all evening as he waits for me to finish in the bathroom. Then he takes a shower and comes out in his boxer briefs and an undershirt.

I’ve left his lamp on so I can see him as he walks around the bed and sits down, breathing a few times before he climbs under the covers beside me.

He turns in my direction, so our eyes meet before he turns off the light. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. No. I think so. I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either.” He makes a soft, rough sound and reaches for me. Pulls me into his arms. “I don’t know anything.”

“Me either.” I sigh in relief as I snuggle against him and feel safe—right—for the first time since we returned from our honeymoon.

“I’m sorry it’s turned into such a mess.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s partly my fault.”

“Well, yeah. But it’s also partly mine. I don’t know. We were stupid to think we could get through with The Plan without getting things messed up between us.”

“I guess.” He adjusts me against him, moving us into a more comfortable position. His arms are still holding me tight. “It did help Blossom Park though.”

“It did. It saved us. I wish things didn’t feel like this between us now, but I still can’t really regret that we tried.”

“I know. I feel the same.”

We’re silent for a long time, holding each other under the covers of the dark hotel room. I’ve never understood until right now what it means to take comfort and strength from someone else’s body, but that’s exactly what I’m getting from Wes right now.

I need it, and he’s giving it to me.

I hope I’m giving him the same thing.

Because I want to.

I want this to be reciprocal. I want to give him exactly what he needs.

And I want to keep giving it to him for the rest of our lives.

After a long time, he finally loosens his arms and moves back enough to cup my face with one of his hands. “Okay. Tell me the truth, Ella. What do you want to happen now?”

I know what I want. At last.

I’m absolutely certain.

I knew it for sure when I saw him run toward the burning car and save the life of a stranger.

Not that the one action changed who he is. Rather, it confirmed what I already knew.