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I went very still. “Okay,” I said slowly. “Why?”
“She might have some insight,” she said, finally meeting my eye. “You can say no, if you want. But I think she’s trustworthy, and I want her opinion.”
I hesitated. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Lisa—I actually believed she wouldn’t betray us, even if this was an enormous story and might be worth some money. The problem was, I didn’t want to bring Lisa into this any more than we had to already. The less she knew, the less likely it would be that she’d get targeted by Zeke. So far, Zeke had left our employees alone, but that might not last forever, especially not if Lisa knew about what was going on.
But Jude was right. Lisa was savvy, and might know something about what we should do. And hell, she might know how to approach Lady Fluke.
“If that’s what you want, then okay,” I said. “But I’d lean toward keeping this to ourselves. The less Lisa knows, the better, for her sake.”
Jude nodded, biting her lip. “It’s selfish, right? To tell her about this, it’s kind of selfish.”
“I don’t think that’s it,” I said, standing. I walked over to her, and she backed up until she bumped against the wall. I held onto her hips, then slid my hands up her blouse, until I felt skin. I kept my fingers on her sides, and leaned forward, kissing her neck softly. She didn’t pull away, and didn’t try to stop me. “You need to do what you think is right.”
Jude groaned softly. “I don’t know what’s right,” she said. “I’m so far out of my depth here. I was just an assistant a few weeks ago.”
“And look at you now, running an office, and doing a great job.”
She pushed me back slightly, and looked into my eyes. “You mean that?”
“Absolutely. You pulled this thing together, even with this Zeke stuff hanging over our heads. I’m proud of you.” I realized that she hadn’t heard me say those words yet, even though I’d been thinking them for a while now. I touched her cheek, and she turned to nuzzle against me. I leaned in and kissed her, and she kissed me back, even though it broke her rule.
She ended the kiss after an incredible few seconds of pure bliss. I loved her lips, her soft tongue, the way she let out this soft little groan of pleasure.
“We shouldn’t,” she said, blinking rapidly.
“I know,” I said, “and yet I want to.”
“God, why now? Why do we need to make this more complicated?”
“Honestly?” I kissed her neck. “This is the simple part for me.”
“I hate you though,” she said simply. “You abandoned me. You broke my heart.”
“And you’re forgiving me, a little at a time.”
“I’m afraid you’ll do it again,” she whispered. “If I let you back in, you’ll break my heart all over again. Eventually, this whole thing will be over, and you’ll leave me.”
“That won’t happen,” I said, and stared into her eyes. “I’m not going to abandon you, Jude. What I did back then, that stupid mistake’s haunted me for a long, long time. I fucked up. I did something selfish and dumb. I should’ve found a way to keep in touch at the very least, but I was too afraid and stupid to figure it out. I’m sorry, and I won’t ever leave like that again.”
She stared at me for several long beats and I saw the sky in her eyes, the sky above that old jungle gym, the one we’d watch together when we were kids, escaping our horrible lives back home and trying to find something better together. I saw it all reflected back at me, all those hours, all that striving and fighting, all that sadness and anger, and all that desire, fuck, yes, all that desire, the love that grew between us and the filthy, base need that I felt for her, even back then. It was all there, shimmering between us like heat waves, like sunlight reflecting off asphalt.
She moved forward and pressed herself tight against me, and we kissed again, and this time, she didn’t pull away. This time, she melted against my body, and I held her tighter and tighter, before pulling her back to my room. I slammed the door shut as I stripped off her clothes, piece by piece, until she stood naked and perfect at the foot of my bed. I pushed her down, watched her hair spill out all around, and licked her top to bottom, tasted her clit, her lips, her breasts and nipples. She pulled off my clothes in a frenzy, and stroked me in wild, deep motions, before taking me in her mouth, her beautiful mouth, going down deep and gasping as I teased her pussy.
I pushed her back onto my pillows, and realized that I had her in my bed, finally had her in my bed after all this time, and I was too in the moment to analyze it. I forced myself to stay grounded, to enjoy her body, her breasts, her throat, her ears, her nose. I slid myself between her legs and filled her, felt her tight pussy grasp me, warm and gorgeous and soaking, god, so soaking wet, and we fucked like that, sweat dripping down our bodies as I felt every inch of her, stroking in and out, again and again, her lips pressed to my ear, whispering my name.
