Page 38 of Pretend it’s Forever

I gave Sophia a strange look, and she blushed. “We are trying zucchini noodles because we don’t know if Violet is gluten intolerant or not. So we’re taking things one at a time.”

“My stomach’s fine,” Hazel said.

“But you don’t like milk,” Violet countered.

And then the two discussed every single food and how it affected their stomachs.

My lips twitched as I looked up at Sophia, who just sighed. “These are good things to know.”

“You say that, and yet you don’t have the spreadsheet that I do.”

“Spreadsheet?” This woman. Why was I supposed to resist her again? Oh yes, I knew why. Because going down this path would only hurt her. Relationships beyond a few nights were a lie. Watching my parents and every other couple around me fall to pieces over time proved that. I wouldn’t do that to Sophia and these girls. Yet I couldn’t leave this table.

“One that deals with every side effect of every meal these days. Being a mom is fun.”

“We love you, Mommy,” both girls said at the same time, and as Sophia’s eyes filled, it felt like a kick to the chest.

Sophia was a mom. A damn good one. I might not know why I was sitting here, but I wasn’t leaving. I wanted to be here.

I would have to deal with the consequences later though, and I would. But for now…

“Do you have a mommy and a daddy? We have a mommy. And we love her. But my friend has a daddy who lives at home, and we don’t. But that’s fine.” Violet said all of those words practically in one breath, and as Sophia stiffened in front of me, I knew that it was important for me to answer this correctly. So I held up my hand, so Sophia wouldn’t be the one to have to break this. I already knew she was having second thoughts for why I was here, and I wasn’t going to make this any harder than she needed. Plus I didn’t know if she had answers, and I was going to wing it.

“I do. Though I don’t live with them. I have a sister though. One that I love.” The clarification there was lost on the girls, but not Sophia. Her eyes warmed, and I continued. “Not everybody has a mommy and daddy. Some of them have two mommies, two daddies, or just one.”

“Or three. Like our friend.”

I smiled then, remembering that yes, we had similar friends in poly relationships. “Or three. But they are loved, just like I know your mommy loves you. And all of your aunts and uncles.”

“Because we’re Cages.” Violet said primly, and Hazel clapped her hands.

“Yes, we are,” Sophia said softly. “And now it’s time to get you cleaned up because there is pasta sauce everywhere.”

“Do you need any help?” I asked, surprising myself.

From the look on Sophia’s face, I had done the same to her. “No, you just relax. We won’t be long.”

“Will you read to us?” Violet asked as Sophia picked her up and set her on her hip.

“Of course,” I said without thinking, knowing I was crossing a line. The girls didn’t need a father. Sophia was very plain in that. But I couldn’t help but want to make sure these girls knew they were cared for. Sophia was doing that all on her own, and doing a damn good job of it, but I couldn’t walk away. And that was on me.

“Carson—” Sophia began.

“No. I’ll read. I want to work on the dishes, and you work on cleaning up these little monsters.”

“Rar,” Violet growled, and then Hazel added her own monster noises.

Sophia rolled her eyes, her lips twitching. “Thank you for that.”

“I hear the sarcasm,” I whispered, but I ignored it. Instead, I cleared the table and washed the dishes, knowing that this domestic side of me wasn’t usual, but that was fine. I would have to learn exactly what the fuck I wanted later.

Afterwards, I sat next to the girls’ twin beds, and told a story of a bowl and his best friend, and the girls giggled, before falling asleep. It was still early, but then again, my bedtime was a little later than three-and-a-half-year-olds.

When we made our way to the hallway, Sophia stared at me, wide-eyed. “They usually fall asleep only after at least two books. Did you slip them something in their dinner?” Sophia asked, and I wasn’t sure she was teasing.

“I’m glad to know my voice is so boring that they could fall asleep like that,” I said with a soft snap of my fingers.

“That’s not what I meant.”