Page 63 of Anton

“Mama?”

Her eyes fill with affection. “Da, eto ya.” Yes, it’s me.

How can she be here? She’s dead.

“Mama.” Her name leaves me, rough and almost angry, because seeing her hurts more than I know how to bear.

She steps closer and places her fingers over mine, but there’s no warmth or pressure. She’s nothing more than a ghost.

“You have to listen to me, Anton. You cannot stay lost and alone forever.”

Why not? I like it that way.

Except when Thora is there…

My mother starts to move back, and I reach for her, desperate for her to stay.

“This is what your father wanted. He made you believe there was nothing left in you so you would never look for it. But there is someone who sees what you cannot. Don’t push her away. Let her in.”

“She should stay away from me.”

“Yet you don’t want her to.”

No, I don’t.

The admission weighs against my ribs.

“She is your light, Anton.” Her words grow fainter as she starts to disappear. “Take her hand and let her guide you out of the darkness.”

“I’ll destroy her.”

“No, you won’t. You’re afraid she’ll see what remains of your heart and love you anyway.”

Pain claws through my chest. “She deserves better.”

“Then be better.”

“I don’t know how.”

“You do.” Her image wavers, the edges of her body beginning to fade. “Don’t let him convince you that there is nothing left inside you. Your heart is still there, synok. I know it is.”

She reaches for me, but her fingers begin dissolving before they can touch mine.

Panic surges through me. “Mama.”

Her smile falters. “I have to go.”

“No.” I reach for her, but my fingers pass through smoke. “Wait.”

“You’ll find me again when the time is right.”

The darkness closes around her, taking her from me piece by piece.

“Mama—”

“Don’t be afraid of the light, moy malchik.” Her face is the last part of her to disappear. “She’s waiting for you.”

CHAPTER TWENTY