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Her chest heaves as she gasps, biting her pouting lip before wetting it some as our eyes lock, but damn. I could look at her eyes all day.
It’s her body that’s broadcasting an invisible message to mine.
A message I can’t ignore or deny.
I can’t help it, and my eyes eat her up like she’s a meal for a starving man.
A feast for all my senses that I suddenly feel like keeping all to myself.
I don’t want to share her with anybody. When I do have a single thought, it’s the only word I want to describe her.
Mine.
She’s been crying and I catch her as she stands up too quickly, the perfect chance for me to do what my instincts are screaming at me to do. Touch her.
Anywhere, anyhow, I instantly want to touch her. To hold her. To keep her close.
I want to wipe those tears away, kiss them away. Realizing how upset she is I recall the reasons why and my real task in all this.
Funny how something so major could slip my mind, but I actually forgot about everything for a second there, it was just Evelyn and me.
A situation I’d like to have permanently.
Sitting her down, I explain the operation as simply as I can. Telling her there are always risks, but I’ve never lost a patient yet with the latest surgical techniques and equipment we use.
I feel my stomach drop when she asks about my vacation. If I was going with my family. With my wife.
I’m quick to tell her it’s just me, and the urgency in my own mind becomes fixed on her again.
She must have a boyfriend. She’s probably too young to be married but look at her. She could have any guy she wants.
I don’t mean to smile when she tells me no. Tells me it’s just her and her dad.
I don’t mean to embarrass her by asking. It’s just a victory I have to claim. One on the way to claiming her properly. Claiming her as my own.
I watch her sweet, round face. Shifting from one feeling to the next, her emotions are all over the place.
I should feel guilty, putting all thoughts of her and me before her dad but it’s not every day I meet someone I know I want to be with forever.
Those same split-second decisions I make to save lives while keeping calm under pressure? It’s like that meeting Evelyn.
I just know this is right.
I just know I need her and she needs me. I don’t quite know just how right this second, but I know she will be mine.
Interrupted by the nurse, I feel my annoyance along with my protective instinct for her rising up inside me. Along with something else I haven’t felt in a while.
Having her so close to me, it feels like the most natural thing in the world when my body responds to hers.
I tell the nurse I’ll be right out, it’s a long operation ahead of me and I need to prep and scrub.
The thought of leaving Evelyn alone while I go save her dad feels weird. Like if there was some way I could take her in there with me, I know I would.
As much as it pains me, I know it’s time. I need to go now and I tell her so, reminding her that she’ll be kept updated throughout the whole procedure.
Standing to go, I don’t even care if she sees how hard she’s making me. A part of me wants her to see it. Needs her to know.
But her eyes are on mine as I turn, relieved once she throws herself into my arms, begging me to save her dad. Telling me she’ll do anything if he lives through this.
Anything?
The thought is enough to catch my breath. And I feel my arousal kick up a notch, grinding into her soft body as I hold her closer.
Promising her the one thing I can, that everything is gonna be alright from now on.
I eventually have to go, but there’s more said with our eyes before I go than either of us could manage with words.
Do I get a raging hard on and hug every relative of my patients?
Never.
I’ve consoled countless patients and their families, but never like this.
This is different, and we both know it without having to apologize or make excuses.
I promise her I’ll be back as soon as I can, and then as fast as it all seemed to happen, I feel sucked back into the real world.
The world of procedures, routines, and rules.
The world of the hospital operating room where I know I’ll have my one-time best friend under the knife.
If it weren’t for Evelyn, I’d be nervous. Probably would have passed it up because it’s such a huge conflict of interests. But like I said, emergencies happen and all of us on the front lines stick together.
