Page 86 of Rewitched

Belle tried to remember what the plan was but couldn’t remember ever having one. There must have been one, at some point. “We own a bookshop. Almost. I hope. It’s small but cosy, and covered in wisteria in the summer, and the leaves turn fiery orange in the autumn. And it’s in London.”

“We live in London?” Her younger self gasped, the first clear, pure excitement breaking through the façade of downplayed reactions.

“Right, I should have led with that.” Belle laughed to herself. “Yes, maybe not quite as glamorous as it sounds to you right now, but yes. We did that part, with Ariadne.”

“That’s cool. And what about the rest?”

Belle opened her mouth to answer but realised she wasn’t entirely sure what to share. Perhaps the majority of it was best left unsaid. Seeing the girl in front of her now, there was only one thing that she really wanted to make sure that she did say.

“I don’t think I’m supposed to tell you everything that happens, it doesn’t feel right. But what I will say, what I feel I need to say to you, is that I’m so sorry.”

The girl looked back at her. “For what?”

“I let you down, I think. I’m so sorry I haven’t done any of the things you wanted to do.”

Her younger self looked taken aback. “Like what?”

“Well…I’m not married. I don’t even have a boyfriend. I don’t have any children. I’m not particularly successful, whatever that even means. I’m definitely not rich or famous.”

Her reflection was quiet for a moment, chewing on the inside of her cheek, picking at a cuticle. “But…are we happy? I don’t mean, like, now. Obviously you’re not very happy right now. You’re ugly-crying,” she said, awkward again. “But are we…? Are we happy? And are…Are we loved?”

Belle felt a heat inside her chest, swelling against her ribs. And she didn’t even hesitate with the honest answer. She nodded. “We’re so loved.”

“We have people around us who we love, too?”

Belle nodded again.

“And Ariadne?”

“Still here. Still our best person,” Belle said.

“Then everything will be okay?” her reflection asked.

Belle took a moment, blowing out a steadying breath. “Everything will be okay. I promise.”

Her reflection gave a sheepish smile. “And how’s the magic? What have we done with it?”

“Funny you should ask. It’s a long story, but today is my last day as a witch.”

“What? How could you? My magic is the only good thing about me.”

“Are you…Are you kidding? Belle—wow this is weird—but Belle, listen to me. There are so many good things about you. You’re trying your best literally all the time. You’re always thinking about other people and trying to make everybody happy. That’s so kind of you, do you know that? You’re putting insurmountable pressure on yourself to constantly be perfect, to be impressive and amazing, and you’re taking it all on the chin. You’re such a good person.”

“I’m not,” her reflection replied quietly, back to picking at the skin on her fingers. “Nothing I do is good enough. Everyone is ahead of me, everyone is doing better things.”

Belle sighed, her heart breaking as she realised that her younger voice was still so loud. She still felt the same things, even now. She wanted desperately to reach out and hug the girl, make her feel enough for anybody who really mattered.

“Listen to me. You’ve done so well, love,” she went on. “You’re doing so well. There will be things we can’t do. There will be things we hope for that don’t happen. We can’t do all of the things, every time, all at once. But it always works out, and you’re not a disappointment. Happiness is waiting for you, I promise.”

Her younger self looked back at her doubtfully but nodded after a moment. “Can I ask you for one more thing?”

“Of course.”

“Please try and keep hold of our magic?”

Belle swallowed hard, shoving down what felt like a rock in the middle of her throat.

“It’s so beautiful.” Her younger self laughed as kitten Jinx reached up from her lap to headbutt her chin. “I don’t want to lose it.”