Page 32 of Seven Rules for Breaking Hearts

“So,” I echoed, pretty sure I knew exactly where this was headed.

“I take it everything is going according to plan.”

“There is no plan. But I’m still living like there aren’t any rules, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“So is Declan going to be your guinea pig for all this?” she asked, a sharp note to her voice that I didn’t care for. “No second thoughts?”

“I wouldn’t call him a guinea pig,” I protested. “He’s …” But whatever word I was looking for, I couldn’t seem to dig deep enough to find it. What was he? A lot of things I didn’t particularly feel like summarizing at the moment. “You know, he’s around a lot. We’ve spent some time together.”

“Liv seems to be under the impression that you guys are already hooking up.”

I snorted. I was sure Liv was under plenty of impressions, after the elevator encounter two nights ago. Not that it was any of her business, but at the same time, it felt like nothing was ever just my business these days, so I was resigned to it. I’d forfeited my right to privacy the moment I chose to put my personal life on blast. “We’re not. Not yet, anyway.”

Jo gave me a long, measured look. “But you’re planning on it.”

If I was being entirely honest, my plans weren’t all that tangible. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Yes, the possibility of sex was something I’d vaguely acknowledged—mostly in the sense that it would mean an end to my ten-month dry spell—but I hadn’t allowed myself to delve into the specifics. I did now, though. I thought about those well-muscled arms, the assertive tone he’d taken with me earlier, and I swallowed. “It’s part of the experiment. You said it yourself. It wouldn’t make for very exciting content if I just keep doing what I always do.”

Jo folded her arms. A small smile formed on her lips. “This could be good for you.”

I narrowed my eyes. I’d expected her to scold me, but this was … well, it wasn’t scolding, but I wasn’t sure I liked her cryptic statement any better. “What could be good for me?”

“This. Catching feelings.”

“I am not catching feelings.”

“It’s part of the rules, and you’re supposed to be breaking them.”

“Okay, yeah, but I can’t exactly force myself to catch feelings,” I pointed out, more than a little defensive. “Either it happens or it doesn’t.” And it wasn’t going to happen. Even with my aversions to commitment, I was willing to be open-minded for the sake of these two weeks, and the experiment. If I caught feelings for … someone, then I’d just have to figure out a way to deal with it. But the chances of that happening were miniscule. Practically non-existent. I was certified heartless, and I had a whole track record to prove it.

Jo sighed and settled at the foot of the bed, the cushy comforter sinking beneath her weight. “Sorry. I guess I just get a little excited. Thinking about you stepping out of your comfort zone. Maybe getting a little taste of happiness.”

I hunched my shoulders against the pillows. “I’m happy.” And if I wasn’t, my relationship status had nothing to do with it. It was strange how love had transformed Jo—how suddenly, the girl who I’d always known to be staunchly single didn’t believe that being single could be fulfilling anymore. Being single wasn’t my issue. It was everything else that was the problem.

“I’m not saying you need to find someone,” Jo said, as though she had read my thoughts. She seemed to be choosing her words with care. “All I’m saying is that it wouldn’t be bad if you found someone.” A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “And it’s Peter’s best friend. You have to admit, it would be kind of perfect.”

My irritation flared. This wasn’t supposed to be about her proving that she was right and I was wrong, but that’s what it was starting to sound like, and I didn’t like it. “If you’re implying that Declan and I are going to live happily ever after,” I said hotly, “you’re mistaken. All I’m trying to do is find a way to save the podcast from totally tanking after—” I cut myself off before I said something I would regret, taking an angry swig of my sangria.

Jo’s eyes flashed with something that might’ve been reproach, the amusement evaporating in an instant. “No, please, don’t stop there. After what?”

I clenched my jaw, pretended to stare out the sliding glass door that led to my balcony, though I couldn’t see much of anything from this angle. There was a hefty pause, during which we were probably both wondering if the other was going to push the issue any further. “It doesn’t matter,” I said after a long moment. “I’ll do my share to make sure we have content for next season. You just focus on the wedding.” I sounded like a broken record at this point, but it was all I could think to say.

“Look,” she said, softening again, “I get that none of this was ever part of our ‘plan.’ ” She threw air quotes around the word, like living a commitment-free life was something we’d loosely discussed, and not something we had structured the entire podcast around. “But things change. You meet the right person and suddenly committing to someone doesn’t sound so bad.”

I fake gagged, sticking a finger in my mouth, and she grabbed one of the plush hotel pillows and chucked it at my head. “Ow, you made me spill my sangria—”

She pointed a bossy finger at me. “No one’s making you catch the bouquet, but that doesn’t mean it won’t smack you in the face anyway.”

“Is that a threat?” I asked, shoving the pillow aside.

“All I’m saying is, you can’t plan for it. Sometimes things just fall into your lap.”

“The bouquet can’t smack me in the face if I’m not standing around waiting for it. I’ll be at the open bar, making a solid effort to completely black out.”

“So long as you’re not blacked out during the maid of honor speech, you can do whatever you want.”

Shit. The maid of honor speech. Kept forgetting I was supposed to make one of those. I hadn’t even started drafting it.

Jo rose to her feet to leave. “Oh, and about tomorrow,” she said. “You guys don’t have anything too wild planned, do you?” She made it sound like an afterthought, but I had a feeling this was her reason for showing up to my room in the first place. Jo had a love-hate relationship with surprises. She Googled all the spoilers before we binged Succession and she always made me tell her what her Christmas gift was a few weeks ahead of time so that she knew how to react when she opened it. But she also got way too excited when Taylor Swift dropped Folklore, and improv theater is her favorite thing ever.