Page 26 of Given Our History

How are you liking the book? I figure it’ll be easier to write out our thoughts on here instead of talking about it on the phone, because on the phone my brain gets all scrambled and I can’t remember all the things I wanted to say.

From: Theodore

Date: October 14, 10:06 P.M.

Subject: Re: THANK YOU!!

Body: Clara,

The song you’re referring to is “Vampires Will Never Hurt You” by My Chemical Romance. It’s about not wanting to be part of the crowd. I thought you might like it. If you like that one, I could burn you a CD with some of their newer stuff.

I read the introduction to Hegel but I’m not sure I really get it—he’s not really writing about history, more about the history of people studying history? It seems overly complicated to me. Why not just write about the history itself?

Sincerely,

Teddy

From: Clare Bear ♥

Date: October 15, 9:06 A.M.

Subject: Re: Re: THANK YOU!!

Body: Yes, please send more!! I would just download them myself but I got in trouble last year for using LimeWire after I accidentally downloaded a virus and then we had to hire this guy to come reinstall Windows and fix everything and my dad only just started letting me use the computer again, sooooo. xD

He does talk about actual history eventually, but I agree that Hegel is sorta confusing. Maybe we should start with something else. I’ll look through my books tonight and mail something tomorrow!!

<333

Clara

From: Teddy

Date: October 16, 12:33 P.M.

Subject: Re: Re: Re: THANK YOU!!

Body: Clara,

What does xD stand for?

Best,

Teddy

My selection of history books didn’t cater to any one particular interest. Mostly, I read whatever I could find for a couple dollars at the local thrift store, often not geared toward high school reading—sepia covers of Images of America, pop history paperbacks curling up at the corners, textbooks with yellow USED stickers slapped over the spines. Sometimes I understood the stuff I read just fine, sometimes I didn’t, but maybe something with more exciting subject matter would be a good starting place for Teddy. I unearthed one of the books I’d read during my short-lived pirate phase, Under the Black Flag, and stuffed it into an envelope.

While my first book recommendation might’ve fallen flat, Teddy’s music certainly hadn’t; I found myself listening to the same CD on repeat during my walks to the library, and then, when the weather turned, blasting it from the stereo in my bedroom. When the next bubble mailer arrived, it sent me further down the rabbit hole: burned copies of Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge and The Black Parade, the track listings inked in that familiar blue Sharpie.

“So is this your favorite band, or something?” I asked Teddy the next time we talked on the phone.

I could practically hear him lift his shoulders, shrugging it off. “It’s one of them, I guess.”

But it didn’t really matter whether they were his favorite or not, because they were quickly becoming my favorite band. I wasn’t even sure I was their target audience—I didn’t always relate perfectly to the lyrics, but they sucked me in anyway. Instead of December evenings spent hunched over the coffee table working on thousand-piece puzzles, I spent hours watching YouTube videos and scrolling through forums. I rented The Lost Boys and Interview with the Vampire from my local Blockbuster because a lot of the songs referenced vampires. I asked my mom to get me an iPod for Christmas, which was met with some hesitation, and I also asked whether I could dye my hair, which was met with outright distress.

“I don’t understand where this is coming from,” she said in the middle of peeling potatoes over the sink for Christmas dinner. “It’s already such a pretty color.”

Pretty was relative, I thought. It was a dull sort of dishwater color, perhaps the most noncommittal of all hair colors: Was it blond or was it light brown? No one seemed to agree. “I was just thinking maybe I’m ready for a change,” I said.