Page 51 of This Changes Everything

“Twenty-four, as of a couple of days ago.”

“Oh, you’re our age.” Blair tossed his thumb back and forth between him and Jacob. I glanced over to Rory as he leaned against a chair. Rory had turned twenty-one in February. I hadn’t wished him a happy birthday.

“So, this is Lucas,” I pointed to Lucas. He had moved next to Hannah again when Blair stepped away and draped his arm over her shoulder. Blair’s eyes narrowed, silently screaming, Back up, Frenchie.

“Zoë is that one.”

Zoë brushed her thick curtain bangs to the side and tilted her head. I could see Jacob start to sweat as his eyes roamed her face and body. I watched Zoë look Rory up and down, skeptically, then scrunch her nose and squint her eyes, not wanting to approve, but clearly doing so. Zoë moved her attention back to me, and I shot daggers at her through my eyes and silently shouted, Stop it!

She looked at me through her bangs with a casual shrug, and I knew what she was saying: Okay, I get it now. He’s sexy. Hannah and Kara both snickered.

“And as you know, this one is Ben, the roommate.” I grabbed Ben’s bicep. “We’ll be back.” I smiled, then pulled him away from the group. I got Ben alone and let go of his arm. “I didn’t know they were coming,” I insisted.

“I know. It’s okay,” he said, avoiding the truth. “Do you want me to figure out a way to get more tables?”

“Okay.” I nodded, looking around.

“Ellie, relax.” Ben pulled a chair out for me at the small round table they had already reserved.

“Okay,” I said again, not listening at all.

“Hey.” Ben subtly hooked his finger through a belt loop on my jeans. I saw Rory and Cameron both clock the touch. Cameron looked over his shoulder to see if his brother was watching, but Rory didn’t flinch. He kept his hands in his pockets and his dark eyes on me.

“Yeah?” I was entirely unfocused.

“Hey.” Ben gently tugged me toward him with his finger. He lightly pressed his hand on my stomach, and his thumb slipped under my shirt to graze my skin. Rory shifted his weight uncomfortably.

“Ellie,” Ben whispered. My eyes finally met his. “If you want, we can get out of here. Or you, Hannah, Kara, and Zoë can do a girls’ night, and the guys will leave. It’s whatever you want.” Ben’s earthy green eyes were bouncing back and forth between mine.

“I think I need to talk to Rory.” My words ran into each other. I saw a momentary flash of hurt behind Ben’s expression.

“Like I said, whatever you want.” He let out a quick, strained breath.

I shook my head, feeling my brain swell with panic. “Ben, I . . . I don’t—”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.” He released his fingers from my stomach.

I grabbed Ben’s hand and held it to my chest. His eyes darted back to mine. “Whatever’s happening between us, I want it,” I said, repeating Ben’s words from the middle of the night back to him. We shared a private smile, and I released his hand before saying, “I’ll be back.”

I walked through my group of friends, quickly clutched Hannah’s hand for a confidence boost, locked eyes with Kara, and then with Zoë, and then moved past Rory and out the door. I may as well have had eyes in the back of my head. Rory stood from the chair he was leaning against. He looked at Ben. Ben looked at him. Then Rory turned and followed me out without having uttered a word.

I had my arms crossed and kept my eyes trained on my black boots. Rory was leaning against a parked car next to a streetlight, appearing more natural on the streets of New York than I had felt in the last six months.

“Why are you here?” I looked up at Rory, and he answered me with his sad smile. His eyes fell to my wrist, and his mouth pinched together. I was wearing the rose gold bracelet he’d given me at his prom. “Whose idea was it to come?” My words were clipped as I brought my hands behind my back.

“Mine,” he said. I popped my eyebrows, not believing him. “It was my idea,” he assured me, unflinching.

“Yeah, well . . .” I looked at a flashing tattoo parlor sign a few doors over.

After a long moment, Rory adjusted his lean. “So, your roommate—”

“Ben,” I said, laser-focused.

Rory closed his eyes and tilted his head back. His loose dark curls were perfectly styled to gleam under the streetlight like a model’s. It was deeply inconvenient. “Ben. Are you together?” He kept his eyes shut, waiting for my answer.

“Why do you care?”

“Because I care.” He was unprepared for me to be so closed off. It wasn’t natural for either of us. We didn’t know how to navigate the obstacles we put in each other’s way.