Page 61 of This Changes Everything

“Yes, I think that would be a lovely idea, Rory. How nice to see you again.” Zoë’s voice was a deep whisper. They were all eavesdropping.

“Jesus Christ,” I sighed, then shook my head, silently apologizing for my friends.

Rory responded with a sly smile that creased his dimple. Zoë slowly backed away from us and straight into Kara. She stepped on Kara’s foot.

“Motherfff—OWW!” Kara screeched. Her knees gave out, and she tumbled over, elbowing Maddy directly in her engorged boob, which had borderline mastitis.

“Holy shit!” Maddy called out, grabbing her tit and bending over.

“Same number?” Rory asked, ignoring the chaos behind me.

“I’m not sure. Did you ever get my New York number?”

Rory just barely shook his head. He went into his pocket and handed me his phone. I grabbed it from him and sent myself a text message that simply said “Ellie.” I cleared my throat, hoping to clear away the awkwardness between us. “Haven’t switched my number over to LA. Can’t seem to let go of that nine-one-seven area code.” Rory kept quiet until I gave him back his phone. “Alright, well, I guess . . . text me?” I laughed warily and lifted my eyes to his.

“I’ll see you, Cainey.” Rory relaxed as he called me by my forgotten name. It was a name I had lost a long time ago, back when I lost myself as well.

Chapter 22

NEW YORK 21 years old

AFTER MY BIRTHDAY, BEN TOSSED OUT OUR TWO TWIN BEDS AND bought us a queen. We tried to keep our relationship under wraps at school, but would find dark corners to sneak away to. Zoë and Lucas knew the truth, but we didn’t want our personal lives to become fodder for everyone else.

At school, the only time we weren’t together was during dance classes, but we would pass each other in the halls before and afterward. One day, we were sitting next to each other on one of the long benches in the lobby. “Try a Little Tenderness” by Otis Redding was blasting from the dance studio, where class was starting. Ben was drinking water on his way out, and I was lacing up my jazz shoes on the way in. He pressed his hands into his thighs, ready to leave, but before he did, he leaned over, dripping with sweat, and gave me a kiss on the lips.

“Alright, see you later, buddy.”

My eyes went wide, and I snorted. He squeezed his eyes tight, realizing what he had just done. He opened one eye to see five other classmates watching us, slack-jawed.

“Well, I guess that’s that.” He laughed, then bent down for another kiss. We’d lasted a month before everyone knew that Ben and I were “Ben and Ellie.”

My parents came to visit, and we took them to all our favorite spots. They watched him reach for my hand every time we walked. He took my dad to his first baseball game. They also went golfing, and Ben didn’t say a word when my dad tried to give him tips and correct his swing the entire time. Ben was just so instantly my live-in boyfriend that my life in New York started to feel permanent.

We kept our Central Park tradition alive, lying out in the sun on the Great Lawn, walking the snowy paths, and picnicking in the rain under the Glen Span Arch. I was slowly shedding my past life with every passing season, every passing day.

When school was out for the summer, I decided not to go back to Vancouver, much to my parents’ dismay. Ben and I would bring a thin floral sheet and spend entire days in the park. We would lie flat, fall asleep, eat, blast music, play games, and watch people set themselves up in encampments for the day and break them down in the late afternoon. We would lie out there at night, too, and count how many people made us nervous, then make up silly stories about each person to suppress our fear of them.

One morning, I looked over at Ben, baking in the summer sun, shirtless, shorts on, sunglasses on, and I reached for his hand, assuming he was asleep. He wasn’t. His parents were flying in from Seattle and had splurged by getting two rooms at the Plaza Hotel, one for them and one for us.

“My mom and stepdad will get into the city around six tonight, and our check-in is at three. So we’ll have three hours to kill.” He moved his other arm around the back of his head, making himself more comfortable.

“That’s fun. What do you want to do when we get there?” I lifted my hand to block the sun.

“A whole lot of sex would be nice.” Ben smiled mischievously.

A teenage girl lying out on a blanket not too far from us pulled a face as she overheard our conversation.

“Also, my mom was hoping to get in a girls’ day with you while they’re here. Would that be okay?” Ben flipped over onto his stomach and placed the side of his head on his hands so he was facing me. I did the same.

“I can take the heat. Tomorrow we’ve got the commercial shoot, but the next day?” I shifted my body so I could press my lips into his arm.

“Yeah, I’ll let her know.” Ben pulled himself toward me for a quick kiss.

I had been working under the table at a casting agency as a background talent wrangler ever since my internship with Justin Bordin ended. My boss, Sal, was nice enough, but I couldn’t help but notice that every time he made an inappropriate comment about one of the actors on set, he would dismiss it by saying, “It’s okay, Ellie’s here.” I never quite knew how to feel about him using me as his protective shield.

Sal would slip me in front of the camera whenever an opportunity popped up for a featured extra. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was a start. I was excited when he decided to throw me a bone and give me a tiny part, with one line, in a commercial for a European gin company. Ben asked to come along for the ride and be one of the extras so he could cheer me on.

“Do you even know yet what we’re doing tomorrow?” he asked.