Page 71 of This Changes Everything

“Guys, I see what you’re doing.” I stepped in on Ben’s behalf. “Don’t grill us.”

“Cains, I promise, that’s not what I’m doing,” Blair said genuinely, and I believed him.

“Fine, that’s not what you’re doing. But what are you doing, Orson?” I demanded. A blush crept up Orson’s neck to his cheeks.

“I’m sorry to interrupt . . .” A soft, chirping voice came from behind me. We all turned to see two teenage girls with heart eyes looking at Ben. “Are you Ben Winters?”

“Um, yeah. Hi.” Ben’s face reddened.

“Can we get a picture with you?” The girl giggled sweetly.

Ben looked at me. I rarely saw him embarrassed, but in this moment, I could tell he was dying. Our entire table was silent as we watched Ben stand in between these two sweet young girls and have his picture taken by their mother.

“Alright, nice to meet you.” Ben let out a long exhale as he sat back down, and didn’t lift his head to see everyone’s prying eyes.

Kara was the first person to speak. “That . . . was wild.”

We all started laughing quietly.

“Does that happen a lot?” Blair asked, confounded.

“No,” Ben answered quickly.

“No, but it’s starting to happen every once in a while. So it’s not totally unusual. It’s strange, though.” I laughed.

“Damn, Ben.” Jacob shook his head, in awe of Ben’s trajectory. “You guys moving to LA soon?”

“Um, not sure. I’m on hold for this thing, and I’ll need to stick around New York if I get it.” Ben pressed his hand into my thigh.

“Isn’t LA your dream, though?” Orson directed his question straight at me.

Ben’s face fell.

Hannah saw the ticking time bomb and stepped into the conversation, defending him. “Ben’s on hold for a show with Julia Louis-Dreyfus,” she bragged on his behalf.

Ben gently caressed my leg with his thumb. I smiled back, but knew it didn’t extend across my face.

“Rory had his first celebrity encounter type of thing the other day, too. Did you know he’s gone pro?” Orson continued the conversation.

“Yeah, I heard. Of course I heard.” I nodded. It was my dad who’d told me about Rory’s success, and when I first saw him flash through a random highlight reel online, my heart stopped.

“Some kid asked him to sign one of his balls. It was really cool,” Orson said.

“What about you, Ellie? Any auditions lately?” Hannah flipped the conversation over to me, and I wanted to kill her.

“Oh, you didn’t hear the news? I’m a regular on one of those courtroom dramas.” I feigned excitement. Kara laughed. She knew where I was going with my joke. “It’s called Court of the People. Ever heard of it? I sit in the audience.” Since graduating, my acting could be summed up with four words: Background. Talent. Featured. Extra.

“You’re too hard on yourself, Hollywood.” Orson shook his head, and I saw Ben smile at Orson’s old nickname for me—a nickname he recognized from reading my diaries.

“Funny, I was just gonna say the same thing,” Ben agreed. “Did you hear that Ellie’s an official casting associate now? She’s doing film and TV and everything. They’re sponsoring her visa, too, so no green card marriage just yet.” Ben lifted his glass to Jacob.

“Yes, it’s true.” I nodded agreeably. “I’m officially aiding and abetting other people’s dreams coming true, instead of my own.”

Based on all the awkward glances, it appeared I was exceptionally effective at making everyone uncomfortable.

Ben covered my hand with his own, protectively. He whispered, “Don’t do that. You’ve worked your ass off, and I’m really proud of you.”

I did work my ass off, and I was working my way up, slowly but surely. But I wasn’t proud. Every time Sal brought me into a casting session, he would comment on the actor’s looks in some snide way. He needed to be the funniest person in the room, and that was the only way he knew how to get everyone laughing. One of the most surreal moments of my life was when I was sitting behind a table at a commercial audition, watching a young woman dance, and then had to listen to everyone talk about her body after she left.