Page 165 of The Dark Lord’s Guide to Honeymooning (and Other Acts of Tyranny)

“Aye, but it’ll take time. These aren’t exactly short journeys.”

I made a decision. “Then we take these families back to Skyspire first. Make sure they’re settled safely.” I glanced at Vex. “Think you can handle the intake process?”

“I’ll have them sorted and housed within an hour of arriving.” She paused. “What about you?”

“I’ll stay here with the shadow warriors.” I was already planning. “By the time you return, I’ll have everyone gathered and ready to go.”

“Lord Blackrose won’t like you staying alone.”

“Kaz isn’t here.” I softened the words with a smile. “Besides, I’m hardly alone. I’ve got shadow warriors and a pink dragon who’s developed a taste for candy.”

Indeed, Nyx was now surrounded by children, all of whom seemed to have decided she was the world’s largest, scaliest dog. She was preening under the attention.

“If you’re sure,” Vex said doubtfully.

A few minutes later, I stood on an island beach, watching as the Sky Serpent prepared to depart. Maybe Vex was right. Maybe I was too soft.

But as I watched the ship disappear into the darkness, carrying dozens of people to safety, I decided I was okay with that. Kaz could be the iron fist. I’d be the velvet glove.

Together, we’d save the world.

Whether it wanted to be saved or not.

48 Survive an Abduction Attempt

(by Becoming the Scarier Villain)

Arabella

The last kidnappings went as expected, and a day later I made my way along a moonlit beach, waiting for the Sky Serpent. Assuming it had dropped off its passengers and turned right back, it would arrive any minute. The Moonbay family had been surprisingly cooperative once I’d mentioned the word “plague.” Nothing motivated nobility quite like the threat of pustules. Now I just needed a moment to myself.

Above, Nyx’s shadow blotted out stars as she circled, her wingspan casting moving patches of darkness across the silver-touched waves. She was making sure no one left the beach, though all of them were too petrified to wander far. The shadow warriors flanked me as I explored, their forms rippling at the edges where moonlight tried to define them.

Magic slammed into me from seemingly nowhere.

The impact sent me staggering, and before I could regain my footing, a spell wrapped around me, so heavy that the air compressed until it made it hard to breathe. I spun toward the tree line, magic crackling around my hands, ready to strike at whoever dared—

“Lady Blackrose.” Zaraiah stepped out from behind a cluster of palms. She wore dark traveling leathers instead of her usual provocative gowns, her short-cropped hair accentuating the classic beauty of her face. “How delightful to find you here. And alone, it seems.”

Fuck.

She’d sworn she wasn’t involved in the assassination attempt, that she preferred her enemies “alive and suffering.” Kaz had stopped me from killing her.

Apparently, we should have gone with my instincts.

A forgettable man emerged beside her—average height, brown hair, the kind of face your eyes wanted to skip over. Every instinct screamed danger.

“Shadow warriors!” I commanded, but nothing happened. They flickered at the edges of my vision, still visible but suddenly unreachable through what felt like an invisible wall. I tried again, pulling at the bindings Kaz had placed, but it was like grasping smoke.

Fine. I’d handle this myself.

I launched a spear of shadow at Zaraiah’s smirking face, but it shattered against something I couldn’t see. A follow-up blast of light magic met the same fate.

“What the—” Then I saw it. Barely visible in the moonlight, a shimmer in the air. A perfect dome surrounding me, cutting me off from everything outside.

“Impressive,” I admitted, testing the magic. It was elegant work, clearly designed specifically for me. “How long did it take you to craft it?”

“Weeks.” She preened. “I had my mages start working on it as soon as I left Skyspire. I knew eventually I’d get you alone, away from his protection. Men like Kazimir always think they can shield their toys forever.”