Page 219 of The Dark Lord’s Guide to Honeymooning (and Other Acts of Tyranny)

In the center of what had once been the main sanctuary, a large stone altar remained intact. Sebastian approached it, running his hands over the ancient symbols carved into its surface. After a moment, he paused and pressed a sequence of glyphs. The altar slid aside with a grinding noise, revealing a dark stairway leading down into the earth. “This is one of the last places I visited with my mother before she became sick,” he said. “Now I wonder if what Auremar was doing caused her death.”

I placed a hand on his arm, feeling a surge of sympathy. “We were both lied to, Sebastian. But we’re going to make it right.”

He nodded, his jaw set.

Thorne moved to the entrance, peering down into the darkness with daggers drawn. “I’ll take point. Stay close.”

63 Lose Control of Your Monster

(Both of Them)

Kazimir

The Bone Behemoth’s roar shattered what remained of Auremar’s eastern line, and I felt a surge of dark satisfaction as soldiers scattered like ants under a boot. Each swing of its massive arms sent soldiers flying, their screams cut short by the sickening crunch of bone against bone.

But they regrouped faster than I’d expected.

Golden light erupted from their rear guard, and I watched with narrowed eyes as mages in white robes stepped forward, their hands weaving complex patterns in the air. The light coalesced into barriers, slowing my behemoth’s advance.

“Interesting,” I murmured, shadows coiling around my fingers. “They’ve learned some new tricks.”

The voice in my head hissed its displeasure. Crush them. Break their pathetic defenses.

I was already moving, summoning shadow wings to fly above the battlefield. From this vantage, I could see the full scope of Auremar’s response. The mages weren’t just creating barriers, though. They were channeling something different that made the air taste of copper and old magic.

Then I saw the Hero’s Guild, or what remained of it after our last encounter. They emerged from concealed positions, their burnished silver armor dulled to gray, their movements too fluid and synchronized to be natural. The corrupted substance Auremar had been feeding them had changed them, made them faster, stronger.

More dangerous.

“Finally,” I said, a cold smile spreading across my face. “A real challenge.”

I’d prepared for this possibility. The false intelligence we’d fed Evenfall hadn’t just included troop movements—it had contained specific weaknesses in our formation, bait for the Guild to exploit. They thought they were springing a trap.

They had no idea they were walking into mine.

I descended, landing hard enough to crack the earth beneath my feet. The nearest Guild members turned toward me, their eyes glazed with that telltale sheen of addiction. Whatever Auremar had done to them, it had stripped away their humanity, leaving only weapons.

It would make killing them so much easier.

“Shadow Formation Seven,” I commanded, my voice carrying across the battlefield through magical amplification.

My troops responded instantly, shifting their positions with precision. What had appeared to be a standard assault formation revealed itself as something far more complex—a magical array drawn with living soldiers, each one a focal point for the spell I was about to unleash.

The Guild charged, their enhanced speed turning them into blurs of motion. The first one reached me in seconds, his sword wreathed in corrupted golden fire. I caught the blade with my bare hand, shadows hardening around my skin to protect me from the flames.

“Too slow,” I said, and twisted.

The sword shattered, fragments of enchanted steel spinning through the air. Before the knight could react, I drove my other hand through his chest, shadows extending from my fingers to pierce armor and flesh alike.

He died with a gurgle, black blood pouring from the wound.

More, the voice urged. Kill them all.

I obliged.

The battle became a dance of death. Each strike was calculated for maximum carnage, each spell designed to inspire terror. I wasn’t just fighting—I was performing, creating a spectacle that would be seared into the minds of every survivor.

A group of Guild members tried to flank me, moving with that unnatural synchronization. I spun, shadows exploding outward in a wave of cutting darkness. They fell in pieces, their enhanced bodies no match for raw power.