Page 68 of The Dark Lord’s Guide to Honeymooning (and Other Acts of Tyranny)

“We’ll maintain this height until nightfall,” Kazimir explained. His hair whipped around his face in the high-altitude winds. “Then descend to just above the waves. It’s safer to travel low when crossing at night.”

“Safer from what?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Sky pirates. Sudden thunderstorms. Creatures that hunt in the upper atmosphere.”

“There are creatures that hunt this high up?” Sebastian squeaked, somehow going even paler.

“Only the ones with a taste for noble flesh,” Kaz deadpanned.

Sebastian made a strangled noise and slid down to sit on the deck, a small patch of moss instantly sprouting beneath him for a cushion.

I elbowed Kaz in the ribs. “Stop terrorizing him.”

“He’ll be fine,” he murmured, but there was amusement in his eyes.

The wind picked up as we gained speed, the ship cutting through clouds like a knife. Salt spray still somehow reached us, mingling with the cold air to create a bracing chill. Below, the coastline receded. The landscape transformed into the treacherous beauty of the Shattered Sea—named for the hundreds of tiny islands scattered across the shallow waters and its violent history. Their hidden reefs and unpredictable currents made the passage deadly for any vessel that didn’t know the routes. Kazimir had told me the fragmented geography had made it a difficult place for anyone who tried to live within it or conquer it, with centuries of raids and bloodshed.

Griffin had convinced one of the crew members to explain the propulsion system to him and was now taking frantic notes, his spindly form quivering with excitement.

“I’ve never seen him this happy,” I remarked.

“Wait until he realizes I won’t let him dismantle anything,” Kaz replied drily.

Nyx let out a contented rumble from her perch, her silver eyes half-closed in pleasure as the wind rushed over her scales.

I leaned against the railing and felt a strange sense of freedom. “For what it’s worth,” I said, “this is already the best honeymoon ever.”

He wrapped an arm around me and kissed my temple. “I aim to please.”

Sebastian groaned from somewhere behind us. “Flying. Dying. Someone please stop me from crying.”

“I could knock him unconscious,” Thorne offered.

“Please,” Sebastian whimpered, and Kaz said, “Do it.”

“Wait—” I started, but was too late to suggest a less painful option like giving Sebastian a tonic.

As Thorne’s fist met Sebastian’s temple with a meaty thud, I decided this was definitely the strangest honeymoon in the history of honeymoons. Which, knowing us, meant it was perfect.

21 Play Drinking Games with Pickled Organs

(May Cause Vomiting, Flowers, and Philosophy)

Arabella

The next day, I emerged from our cabin feeling deliciously used and more than a little smug. Kaz and I had defiled every surface of our quarters.

The wind that had been so fierce yesterday had gentled to a pleasant breeze. The Sky Serpent sliced through fluffy clouds, leaving wisps of white trailing from her creaking hull. Below, the sea sparkled, broken by craggy islands and the occasional pod of something that might have been dolphins… if dolphins had tentacles. Nyx glided to the north of us, stretching her pink wings and hunting.

I’d spent yesterday afternoon exploring every inch of this magnificent vessel while Sebastian recovered from Thorne’s tender ministrations and Griffin pestered Captain Brecca. The cargo hold alone was a treasure trove of bizarre artifacts and supplies, though Griffin had been firmly banned from examining any of them after he’d accidentally activated a navigational compass that began pointing exclusively toward him. Brecca had been less than amused when her entire bridge crew spent an hour trying to figure out why all their instruments were tracking Griffin’s movements through the ship.

Kazimir emerged from below deck, his hair still damp from washing. He wore a simple black tunic and trousers today, though he somehow managed to make even casual clothing look intimidating. He caught my eye and smiled that private smile that made my insides flutter.

“You look pleased with yourself,” he said, coming to stand beside me.

“I am.” I leaned into him, lowering my voice. “Though I might need a healing salve if we’re going to continue at last night’s pace.”

His laugh was low and wicked. “I’ll be gentler tonight.”