Page 78 of The Dark Lord’s Guide to Honeymooning (and Other Acts of Tyranny)

At this, Sebastian cast an unsettled look at me. I shook my head. “Lord Sebastian is enjoying our hospitality.” I gave the Alchemist a cold smile. “We don’t charge for helping a friend.”

I could practically feel Kaz’s grumble beside me.

The Alchemist wasn’t fazed. “Information is a gift, Lady Blackrose. And I do so enjoy giving. But we can speak of it tomorrow at our meeting, if you wish.”

Kazimir’s eyes narrowed. “Our arrangement was for today.”

“Was it?” The Alchemist’s fingers danced in the air, tracing patterns that left faint, glowing trails. “How careless of me. But I heard you were turning this into a honeymoon trip, so it won’t be a waste.” They winked—or at least, I thought they did. It was hard to tell with the mask. “Why not enjoy yourselves until tomorrow? The God Spire has many delights to offer newlyweds.”

“We’re on a schedule,” Kazimir said, his voice dropping to a dangerous register.

“And I’m afraid my schedule has changed,” the Alchemist replied, their tone remaining light despite the obvious tension. “Something about a plague of sentient, militant beetles in the lower markets. It’s Friday, you know.”

“Friday is recruitment day,” Thorne muttered.

“Precisely. Can’t have the beetles eating the potential cultists. It’d be bad for business.” The Alchemist’s robes shifted to deep crimson. “Tomorrow morning, then? Unless you’d prefer to wait longer?”

I placed a hand on Kaz’s arm, feeling the rigid tension in his muscles. “Tomorrow is fine,” I said smoothly. “It gives us time to explore.”

The Alchemist’s smile widened. “Excellent! I recommend the Gilded Gallows for tonight. It’s quite the experience for first-time visitors.”

Kazimir scoffed, then seemed to remember our cover story and slid his arm possessively around my waist. The ruse wasn’t strictly needed for the Alchemist, who knew our purpose here better than we did, but others would be watching. “I have other plans for my wife.”

“I’m sure you do, but maybe you’ll make an exception.” The Alchemist’s eyes gleamed behind their mask. “Until tomorrow, then.”

With a final glittering smile, they glided away, their color-shifting robes rippling around them.

“They’re playing games,” Kazimir growled, his grip on my waist tightening. “The Alchemist never does anything without multiple layers of purpose.”

“At least we have time to rest and prepare,” I pointed out. “And I wouldn’t mind seeing more of this place.”

Kazimir looked down at me, his expression softening slightly. “You would find the corpse of a dead god fascinating, wouldn’t you?”

“Absolutely.” I grinned. “How often does one get to explore something like this?”

He sighed, but the corner of his mouth twitched upward.

As we collected our belongings and prepared to enter the Spire proper, I noticed Kazimir scanning our surroundings. His eyes missed nothing—the positions of the guards, the movement patterns of the strange creatures that scuttled along the walls, the subtle magical wards that shimmered in the doorways.

“You don’t believe their excuse for a moment, do you?” I asked quietly.

“Not a single word,” he confirmed. “The Alchemist is up to something. They always are.”

“A trap?”

He considered this, then shook his head slightly. “No, not yet. If they wanted us dead or captured, there are more efficient ways. This feels more like positioning. Moving pieces on a board before making their play.”

“And what’s our countermove?”

A cold smile touched his lips. “We explore, we observe, we gather information. And we prepare for whatever they have planned tomorrow.”

“And if it’s a trap?”

Kazimir’s eyes met mine, hard as steel but with that flicker of warmth he reserved only for me. “Then we spring it, survive it, and get back to the war in Solandris as quickly as possible. I didn’t come this far to be outmaneuvered by someone who can’t even decide what color robes to wear.”

I laughed despite myself, and he pulled me closer as we approached the massive, vertebra-shaped entrance to the God Spire. The structure seemed to inhale as we crossed the threshold, and the air around us resonated with that unsettling, breathing sound.

Behind us, Sebastian groaned. “You’re both insane. Absolutely insane. Why do I follow you? I can’t explain.”