Page 82 of The Dark Lord’s Guide to Honeymooning (and Other Acts of Tyranny)

She laughed, and the sound should have warmed me. It did warm me. But underneath that pleasant feeling, a possessive fury so intense it made my teeth ache. It was completely involuntary, and completely out of place for the situation.

I brushed it off with a smirk. “You should know, membership requires a crime.”

She pulled back. “What?”

“To enter the Gilded Gallows, you need to have committed a crime. It’s their way of admitting only the right sort of clientele.”

She considered this for a moment. “Does killing the knight-commander of the Hero’s Guild count?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then I’m qualified.” She leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. “What’s your crime of entry?”

I smirked. “You know I have plenty.”

24 Attend a Social Gathering

(and Try Not to Lose Your Staff)

Kazimir

The kitchen had become a war zone of flour and honey. Griffin stood at the central counter, his gangly frame dusted white from head to toe, while Sebastian moved around him with the efficiency of someone who knew what they were doing.

“We’re heading to the Gilded Gallows,” I announced from the doorway.

Both men looked up. Griffin’s face brightened with curiosity, while Sebastian’s expression grew wary.

“The nightclub?” Griffin asked, abandoning whatever sticky mess he’d been attempting to shape. “I’ve heard fascinating things about their acoustic enchantments. Apparently, they use resonance crystals to—”

“To make the music loud enough to drown out screaming,” I finished drily. “It’s not an academic exercise, Griffin.”

“Screaming?” Sebastian paused in wiping his hands on a towel, but he wasn’t looking at me.

I turned to see Arabella as she entered, and nearly swallowed my tongue.

Her dress clung to every curve of her body, cut low enough in front to make my mouth go dry. A slit ran up one side, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of thigh with each step. Her golden hair was swept up, exposing the elegant line of her neck.

“Where’d you get that?” I asked roughly.

She smiled, doing a small turn. “I packed it when we decided this was our honeymoon. Never had a reason to wear it before, but I hoped there’d be an occasion for something special.”

“Special” was one word for it. “Devastating” was another. The dress made her look dangerous in a way that had nothing to do with magic and everything to do with the kind of feminine power that brought kingdoms to their knees.

“You look…” I paused, searching for words that wouldn’t sound like complete capitulation to my baser instincts. “Illegal in several kingdoms.”

Her smile widened. “Thank you. You don’t look terrible yourself.”

I’d chosen black as usual—a silk shirt open at the collar and dark trousers that wouldn’t show bloodstains. Standard villain attire, really, but the way Arabella was looking at me suggested she approved.

I resisted the sudden desire to whisk her back to the bedroom. Instead, I glowered at Sebastian, who was looking at Arabella with his mouth open. As my shadows darkened the corners of the kitchen, the fire in the hearth guttered and nearly went out.

Sebastian caught my gaze and turned beet red before looking carefully at the sugar he was supposedly measuring. He had to squint now that the room was so dark. “Why do you want to go to a place that has screaming?”

Still glaring at him, I was about to suggest he learn how much fun it could be when Arabella intervened.

“Surrounded by criminals, villains, and monsters, all trying to one-up each other with their evil accomplishments?” Her smile turned wicked. “It sounds like fun.”

“You have a strange definition of fun,” Sebastian muttered, but there was fondness in his voice rather than judgment.