Page 105 of Pining for You

The crowd is going absolutely bananas for this sound I have never once heard in my life. It’s fast and lively and frankly? A little unhinged. But like last night at Wade’s, I kind of love it. If this is polka, consider me a convert.

As the song winds down, Johnna addresses the barnful of revelers. “Thank youuuuuuu, Ripton! I hope you’re all polka fans, because we are about to hop, skip, and turn our way into the holiday spirit tonight!”

A cheer goes up and another raucous number kicks off.

“She was so excited when I asked if they’d come with,” Audra says, shouting over the speakers in the corner. “Cash, she specifically wanted to know if you’d be here.”

Cash raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth wide in Muppet-like excitement.

“This is the queerest thing this town has ever seen,” Izaac says with a joyful laugh. But the terminally straight farmers and sea of heteros are all just shaking their tailfeathers to this drag-tastic diva.

“Yessssss! Queer joy comes to Connecticut at last!” I say.

“You did it, B. You made a big queer Christmas movie happen!” Cash says. “Except real life.”

“Documentary style,” Diya adds.

Before I know it, she is dancing with Cash, and Carlos and Audra are holding hands, and Izaac and I are just taking it in. It’s picture-perfect, all of it. I should be filming.

Then, as if reading my mind, I hear a voice say, “You might want to get that camera out, Strudel.”

My heart seizes. Slowly, I turn. And that’s when I see her come up behind Carlos.

Eve.

She’s standing there in her red jacket, but this time with her hair piled up high in a red bandana and green ribbon. Her lips are painted with a Santa-suit red gloss and in my belly is an explosion of sparkles, even as it twists at the thought of how we left things.

“I’ll catch up with you later, Bosley,” Izaac says, and steps into the crush of dancing partygoers.

She’s smirking at me again, obviously, enjoying her turn having the element of surprise. But my last memory of her is how she looked at me after that kiss, the way that smile faded. What is going on? But before I can stammer out the question, she arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me and gestures around the room.

“Because if you’re trying to capture Christmas magic out in the wild, I think this might actually qualify,” she adds.

Chiiiiiiiill, Bosley is all I can think, even though I don’t have it in me to play it cool.

“I didn’t, uh… I didn’t think I’d see you again,” I say, because this much, at least, is true.

“Well, I mean, I can just hang on the truck and wait for Carlos if—” She jabs a thumb back toward the parking lot.

“No,” I say immediately, with stranded-in-the-desert thirst. “No. I mean, I’m happy. To see you here.”

Her grin returns, but what is she doing here? Wasn’t she the one who said we barely knew each other and can’t get involved?

“Well, it was Carlos’s idea,” she says.

So maybe that’s it, and it has nothing to do with how she feels about me.

“As if I had a choice!” Carlos says. I didn’t realize he was listening from a few feet away. He throws an arm over Eve’s shoulder now. “I couldn’t watch her moping around all Christmas, pining for you.” He nudges Eve, and she grits her teeth. “Get it, pining?” He nods toward the wall of Christmas trees behind us.

It’s written all over Diya’s face that she loves this, and a smile pulls at the corners of my mouth without my permission too.

“Don’t you have some tacos to make?” Eve asks. She looks at the line that’s formed.

“All right, all right,” Carlos says. “I go where I’m appreciated. Dope to see you, Bennie. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon.” He winks at me and walks off.

More questions pop up like text bubbles around my head. Like, after the party? Whenever I visit Audra? I try to tamp down my expectations.

“You probably have to go too, right?” I ask Eve, as Carlos begins opening up the window on the truck to the intense line.