Page 42 of Pining for You

“Not a lot,” he replies. “Which is a good thing, because get me the eff out of this place.”

Izaac is scanning the bar with his lip curled. It’s giving disgust, which is strange because this place seems pretty cool to me. And as particular as Izaac can be, he’s not usually a snob—he prides himself on being a man of the people.

“Uh, okay,” I say, but I ignore his reaction for now because there’s something I want to discuss with him and I have to be quick. “Hey, while we have a minute, what’s up with Cash’s birthday? I can’t believe how close we’re getting! Do you have anything in mind? I mean, obviously I’ll make his coconut cake—it’s tradition—but also—”

“B, right now?” Izaac doesn’t even look my way, which throws me.

“Okay, maybe not now, but let’s talk soon, yeah?” I say.

“Sure.”

I get that he’s focused, but his response makes me a little nervous. What if Izaac really is feeling less committed to their future together? I can’t tell Cash about Izaac’s family stuff, and I can’t tell Izaac I think Cash has concerns about their future. All I can do for now is hope smoothing things over with Audra will help Izaac clear his head and be a little less on edge.

I chew my lip, but then try to get my head in the game too. I turn my attention and my own lens back to the bar, looking for Audra. And I find her. Or at least someone I think is Audra.

“Um, holy holiday makeover. Is that her?” I whack Izaac with my free hand.

I’ve known Izaac’s sister for years and she’s always been in a blazer and a button-down, looking grown-up and professional. But now she’s dressed in the bar’s T-shirt and black jeans, her nose is pierced, and her braids have been released into an afro and dyed a bluish-purple color. She has what appears to be a comic book sticking out of her back pocket.

“Pick your jaw up off the floor, please—that’s my sister.” Izaac whacks me back.

“Right! Bro code.”

I turn off that part of my brain as fast as possible, but his response is confirmation—that’s Audra.

“What the hell did she do?” he asks.

Izaac has never been a fan of change if it’s not in the name of social justice.

Audra’s helping a few customers at the bar, dropping drinks and smiling. Unlike Izaac, she looks pretty comfortable with this new version of herself. I wonder how long she’s worked here, and how long it took to transition from small-town-Connecticut Audra to Williamsburg Audra.

After a moment, she looks up, scanning to see if any other patrons need attention, and that’s when her gaze lands on us. I zoom in, trying to get her reaction up close, and I’m smiling in anticipation, but her expression does not register as happy, presents-on-Christmas-morning surprise the way I thought it would. In fact, it’s more eggshell-in-my-sticky-toffee-pudding. And now another question pops into my mind. What have I just walked into?

12

“Here we go,” Izaac mutters, and it feels like he’s gearing up for battle after Audra has a quick exchange with another bartender, then comes around the bar, headed our way.

It occurs to me now—way too late—that I don’t know all the details of what has been going on between Izaac and his sister. We asked so many questions about Audra’s decision and their parents’ reaction in the spring, and we know Izaac has been dealing with the fallout with his parents’ fighting, but until yesterday there wasn’t much discussion about the relationship between brother and sister. Plus, I’ve been so wrapped up in my own family drama, and the holidays, and the future of it all…

Now not only do I feel bad for not asking more questions and giving Izaac the space to talk, but I’m totally unprepared to witness this reunion—which may not be nearly as happy as I envisioned.

“Z? What are you doing here?” Audra asks, her voice low. Izaac has at least five inches on her, but she’s three years older and has serious presence, even in a T-shirt. She looks at him and then around the bar, before her eyes land on me.

“Hey, Bennie,” she says, her demeanor warming slightly.

“Hey, Audra,” I reply as brightly as I can. But now I wish I could disappear, just dissolve like a candy cane in hot cocoa.

“Well, it’s nice to see you, too,” Izaac replies.

“I mean, of course it’s nice to see you—both of you,” Audra says. “But ya know, a little surprising, Z.”

“Well, I’m a little surprised too,” he says. “We stopped by your apartment—or I guess, your old apartment—and you weren’t there.”

“Izaac, what are you doing chasing me around Brooklyn the weekend before Christmas, on the day of a massive blizzard?” she asks, then pauses and adds, “Wait, did they send you? Because if this is some mission to convince me to go back to school—”

“What? Who?” Izaac asks, before the answer dawns on him. “Mom and Dad?” Now he gives a dry laugh and looks actually offended. “No, Audra, Mom and Dad did not send me. And if their relentless fighting is any indication, I’m pretty sure they don’t actually remember I exist.”

Now there’s an awkward silence, and Audra purses her lips, looking remorseful.